The Morning Show: Reset the game

Chapter Six

That hug from Alex was sincere and so good that I could stay here forever, but I felt she was close and far away at the same time.
- Bradley, can I ask you a question?
- You can ask as many questions as you like.
- Do you think I'm crazy?
Alex's trauma was so great and it's my fault. I just want to be able to fix the damage I've done and gain her trust again.
- Alex, you're not crazy! Stop, you have emotional issues and you know, but you're not crazy, don't worry.
I held her face in both hands and smiled, reassuringly. She wrapped her arms around my waist again and I hugged her tight.
- Hey, Saturday is Robert's welcome party. If you don't show up, I'll understand, but your name will be on the guest list.
- He's having a party? When I arrived there was nothing like that.
Party? Seriously? Why all this circus for Robert? Is he that important?
- Okay, thanks for the invite. I better go, it's late and I've taken too much time from you. Your boyfriend must be upset.
- You can be sure he's not, he's not like that Bradley.
- If you say so... But I'm leaving, thanks for not having kicked me out of your house, I loved spending this time with you and I hope I can rebuild your trust in me.
I gave Alex a kiss on the cheek and a tight hug and left. She's been watching me with a confused face, seems to try to understand what she's feeling.

○○○

As I watched Bradley leave, a million things and feelings ran through my head and heart. Seeing Bradley took me back to that traumatic night and it still hurts, it hurts so much. Did I manage to hide it well? That while we were talking, my heart was bleeding and I wanted to scream? Compulsively crying and locking myself in my room? It's been a long time, but Bradley's words were too cruel and profound. I could bear to hear that from anyone, but hers was like a stab to my heart.
When I walked into my room, Robert was sleeping in my bed. I tried to make as little noise as possible, got two blankets, one covered him and the other for myself, threw him on the couch and went to make some tea. I picked up my cup, sat in the armchair, and draped the blanket around my shoulders. A movie flashed through my mind: Robert and I when we met in Paris, our reunion, the beginning of our relationship and the day I saw Bradley for the first time, our relationship always troubled, the few good times we had and that night. And of course I started to cry. When I realized it, it was dawn and I was still crying, I had dehydrated my whole body during those hours and I was not sleeping. Robert appeared there, shirtless and disheveled. He didn't say anything when he saw me in this deplorable state, he just lifted me up, sat me down and put me on his lap, my head resting on his shoulder.
- I'm here my love, with you. If you want to cry, cry. If you want to talk, I'll listen to you.
I collapsed even more, like I hadn't cried before. My heart sped up, I was shivering in a cold sweat and my chest closed up. An anxiety attack, but I'm glad I have Robert in my life. He's the relief, the breather in the midst of so much pain and he's the one who soothed me. He started singing to me, told a story about his childhood and about Marie.
- You're not alone petit, ever! I'm here for you, I love you!
And after so many tears, they finally stopped.
- Why don't you go take a shower to relax while I prepare our breakfast, petit? Today is our day off and you decide the schedule, right?
Robert was leaning against the kitchen sink, I approached him and kissed him passionately that left him breathless.
- Thank you for everything my love. For accepting me all wrong like this, for taking care of me.
- You're right for me petit, it's always been since the first day I saw you.
- I love you love you.
- I love you more petit.
We kissed again and I went to take my bath. While I was there, I thought about how happy Robert makes me. But I thought about Bradley too, how am I going to get over this great pain? How to erase from my memory those horrible words that I heard and that hurt me so much?
I got out of the bathtub, got some comfortable clothes, got dressed and when I arrived I had breakfast ready.
- Feeling better, petit?
- Yes my love... But there are "things" that are not easy to solve or forget.
- Do you want to talk about it?
We sat down and I told her everything that had happened, about my conversation with Bradley and that night.
- That was very cruel petit, but you'll get over it. Why don't you go back to therapy?
- Yes, it might help.
- I'm sure it will!
Yeah, I'm going back to therapy. It will be great for me because I will take a weight off my costs.