Living in the moment (harry styles and Ariana grande hariana fanfic)

Chapter 32

       I woke up suprisingly earlyy but was restless form being up struck in the middle of the night so many times. It was 6 am it appeared on my clock. I was feeling suprisingly better knowing their wasnt a barring on my back but still had guilt ,on how messed up my life was. And how I kinda liked it when Zayn kissed me. I didn't bother to check on twitter for the past few weeks considering the boys probabally told their fans and their was loads of hate. I stumbled out of bed as I headed toward the shower. I let the hot water pound against my body. I could stand there for hours and just think. I felt so lonely in a crowded room. Then I thought knew what to do . But  I also knew what to do when I broke up with Harry and didn't. 

      After 30 minutes of showering I got out .  I glanced at my prune fingers . I got dressed and did my natural routine.  I needed to go back to the old me. I was taking this out on a limb here. I picked up my phone and started dialing it. It rang for a few minutes. No answer.Maybe god was trying to tell me that i'm perfectly fine on my own. I turned down the phone. I reached down on my bed and began to look through the memories that happened in this crazy year.  I flipped the pages of my floral scrapbook . I touched each picture as I closed my eyes and reminis on the memories, I closed the book as I felt I was about to cry .

          I clenched onto it. I l hugged the book . I rushed to the kitchen and grabbed the lighter and headed to the back yard as I started burning the book .  I started smiling as I saw the flames ark through the book and the pictures curl . I started feeling something a freshness sparking out of  it. I trucked back into the the house I went into the bathroom.  I didn't like what  I was looking at . It wasn't me . I stormed through the cabinets. I finally picked up the box of anti rinse.  

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 3 hours later. 

I finished curlying the last lock of my now brown orignal hair . It was perfect and I never felt more me. The glitzy bubble gum pop red headed wasn't me . I was the more intricated vintage sophistacaed girl that no one got to see. I smiled I looked in the mirror for minutes  . I felt like I was ropeplaying the famous Ariana Grande but that wasnt me . And it took a lot of crying to realize that.. Falling for someone that constantly broke my heart and I constantly broke his wasn't healthy. I threw on a light pink skirty and floral tube shirt.  I called my manager and told him I was going to be in the studio. I wanted to sing about true love and what it feels like  now what put your hearts up meant. 

                          I headed their and saw everyone their with camera's . I greeted everyoone  as I got some stairs from my hair and immeditly began to work. I did a cover of frank oceans thinking about you. (video in the sidebar ).  Everything poured out. In my singing. It was the happier side of me . I still loved him thats what hurt most of all.  I clenched my hands up against the microphone as I began to sing.