cadnis oneshots so i can get some f*cking sleep

little miss perfect

howdy my muppets!! happy day!! i'm not gonna get specific bc idk when you're reading this but i hope it's a great one!!

as you can probably tell by the title, this is a little miss perfect au based on the song by joriah kwamé (yes, i finally went for the little miss perfect fic. but with a twist bc i am so goddamn sick of these having sad endings!!) also if the lyrics are incorrect at any point, that is not my doing!! i honestly just googled them and then copy and pasted them into my notes ://

tw for:
bullying
internalized homophobia
toxic friendships
alcohol
low self esteem
burnout
and as always if i've missed something, please let me know so i can add it (also a note: if you've read my old stuff and noticed a warning i've missed, please let me know anyway!! it doesn't have to be for the most recent fics. anyway.)

enjoy!!

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Straight hair, straight A's, straightforward

Cady's hair has always been naturally curly.

She used to love matching her lions in Africa and just letting her hair have its own way.

When she moves to the US, on her very first day of school, she loses track of how many people make fun of her wild hair by the time she makes it to homeroom.

She goes home and begs her mom to buy her a hair straightener.

Straight path, I don't cut corners

Cady's life has always been laid out for her. There have been a few small wrenches thrown in things along the way, but the gist remains the same. Graduate, study math or science in college, get a job that pays a decent salary. Marry a nice, wealthy man, have 2.3 perfect children.

She's fine with that.

I make a point to be on time

Being late has always stressed her out. Missing out on something important is the worst thing that could possibly happen.

Becoming Plastic makes it worse. If she arrives a second too late to a party or lunch, she risks complete and utter catastrophe. Being ostracized now would ruin her. Her image is all she has.

Head out the student council

Joining the Mathletes is a risk.

But so is everything she does. Studying and Mathletes practices give her a productive outlet for some of that stress. And nobody has to know. The Plastics would never be caught dead around the Mathletes. Cady wears her polo under her pink dresses and hides the collar with uncomfortable denim vests. It works for a while.

I don't black out at parties

Alcohol and drugs have always terrified Cady. She has a family history of addiction, and the effects don't sound... desirable.

But the thing she's most afraid of is losing control.

It happened once at a party. Regina talked her into doing shots. Cady decided she liked the burn of vodka and downed seven in ten minutes. The regret kicked in as the last was sliding down her throat. One hospital trip for alcohol poisoning and being banished from the lunch table for a week was enough to confirm the fact that alcohol is not to be trifled with.

I jam to Paul McCartney

Cady doesn't understand American music. It all seems to be about drugs, sex, or... cows, given the bit of country music she's been exposed to. Damian shows her some show tunes, and she likes those. She can actually understand what they're saying, which is nice.