Peach Silhouette

38 | maybe i was boring

I watched him rustle with the equipment and stand up quickly. He pushed open the door and barged out. 

"George-" I whipped around and spoke through gritted teeth. 

"You've done quite enough, Nick." He flinched but before I could see the affect of my words I turned around and hurried after Dream. 

"Dream!" I followed him out the front door and into the drive. 

"You can't keep running." He stopped where he was, and fear creeped into my blood. 

"Please, George, tell me why I can't; won't you?" He laughed. "Tell me again how you need this place, how good it is for everybody else."

"Don't say that like I'm wrong." I muttered. 

"You are, though! Why can't you see that?" He asked incredulously. "You could never understand why running is the safest play to make."

"Really? You want to go there?"

"Yeah, George, I do."

"Don't pretend like you're the only one of us who's ever had to run. You think I've always been this eager to stay? Just have a little chat with my dear estranged mum, why don't you?" I watched the realization register in his eyes, but I wasn't done. "You'd love to think all day long that you're the authority on when it's time to run, hm? No, Dream, you're wrong. You ran once and never stopped - unlike you, I figured out pretty damn quick that one day you'll run yourself out."

"What if.."

"There's no what ifs, Dream. You're tricking yourself into believing nothing will ever work, that you always have to run. You wanna know how I know?" 

"How's that?" 

"I fell for the same trap every day until the moment you stepped into that lobby."

"I know, I just-"

"Do you know? Or are you just hoping that you're wrong day after day, but then only doing things that prove you right? You aren't just running from me, you're running from yourself too."

"That's some real bullshit coming from you,-" He continued, but I couldn't even hear him. I tipped my head. I spoke quietly, my tone steeped in sadness.

"Who are you when I'm not looking?"

"I- what?"

I felt a tear slip down my cheek before I could stop it. I blinked, and wiped my face with my sleeve. 

"I doubt you even know yourself." I murmured. 

"Don't say that- you,- I-" He struggled to find words. I turned around and walked through the doorway, silently shutting the door behind me. As soon as I couldn't feel eyes burning through my back, I hurried up the stairs, panic crawling through me with every step.

TW // themes of a panic attack

I ran into Sapnap at the top of the stairs. 

"George-" I pushed past him and slammed the door of my room. I began taking things out of my drawers and shoving them in bags. I didn't even know what I was doing, I just knew that I had to leave. 

Tears burned my eyes as I whispered rapidly under my breath.

"I need a ticket, and a hotel room, and a bus. Can I get a ticket soon enough? Did I call the bank about access to my savings while in the US? I think I did. Are there any bus routes nearby?"

The rhythm of my thoughts kept me distracted as I finished packing the things I would need immediately. I would convince Wilbur to ship the other things to me later. 

I found a bus ticket, a hotel room near PDX, and a plane ticket to London first thing tomorrow. 

I picked up my things and opened the door. Both Sapnap and Dream were talking quietly and looked surprised when I opened the door. I ignored them and walked down the stairs. 

I knocked on Ranboo's door. Tommy answered, looking surprised and confused. His eyes flicked down to my bags and his face changed from confused to concerned.

"Hey, George, how's it going big man-"

"I need Ranboo." I said firmly. Tommy looked a little hurt but retreated into the room. He returned with Ranboo.

"I need you to drive me somewhere."

"Sure, where to?" 

"The bus stop at the edge of town." He opened his mouth to object.

"Please?" I asked. 

"I- yeah, ok. Come on." We walked out to his car. 

Soon I found myself at the threshold, sitting on the cold bench. 

"You can go now." I said quietly. Ranboo shook his head.

"Not until you tell me what this is about."

"I'm- I'm going back to the UK." I replied. The realization set into my bones, but I silenced the protests in my heart.

"What? Why?"

"I need to clear my head." I lied. 

"I'm coming with you." I heard the beep of his car locking. 

"That's dumb, you belong here-"

"So do you. I'll make sure we both get back, but for now, I'm starting to understand that I cannot let you go back there alone." The bus pulled up, and I stood up. He did as well.

"But you don't even have a plane ticket, and your passport-"

"I'll get one. And I keep my passport on me all the time, in case my friends come up with some crazy idea. Kinda like this one." He smiled. I shook my head. We both stepped on the bus.

"Ticket?" The tired driver asked. I handed him mine. 

"Ticket?" He asked Ranboo. Ranboo shook his head.

"No, but I have cash." 

"Ehh, this bus is pretty empty anyway. Just get on and don't tell anyone." Ranboo thanked him and we sat down.  

The drive passed quickly, darkness settling over the landscape. I explained everything to Ranboo on the way, and he listened with more attention than anyone had in a while. We entered the hotel at around 9, exhausted. 

The next morning, we headed to the airport. By some luck a lady gave her ticket to Ranboo after her plans changed.

The universe had to be trying to tell me something, but either way Ranboo was coming whether I liked it or not. 

My phone buzzed over and over. I glanced down at the caller id. I turned off the screen and slipped it into my pocket.

Ignorance is bliss, they say. 

As the flight attendant said her last instructions before take off, he looked at me. 

"Are you sure about this?" I breathed in, thoughts flickering in my head. I snubbed them out. 

"Never been surer." 

~

inspiring song(s)

night bus - gabrielle aplin

maybe i was boring - wilbur soot

avalanche - christian french

lost in the wild - walk the moon

~

an: uh oh spaghettio, gogy's throwing a tantrum

this felt right, even though i didnt factor it into the original plot hehe

love you all and afri out <3