Peach Silhouette

7 | I'm supposed to be the one with all the answers

I watched Dream trudge through the sand, the towel draped around his shoulders.

"You are nothing."

I shook the words out of my head, sitting down next to Harvey. It felt like his dark brown eyes were looking through me rather than at me. 

"I don't know what to think, Harv." I said quietly, trailing my fingers through the sand.

"You know, this guy sounds like he did a number on you." I thought back on all the times he had ruined my plans.

"Yeah, I think he did. I feel different, like something about me isn't right compared to other people. And it's so easy to accept other people as they are, but it's so much harder to accept myself. And what even am I?" Harvey looked at the horizon, where the gray line of water met the gray sky. 

"You don't have to be anything yet George. It took me a long time to think about what I was, and even now things could change."

"I guess so. It's just," I fumbled for a moment, sighing. "It's just, I'm the one who's supposed to have the answers. I know the right code, I know how to comfort a friend, I know how to take care of people. How am I supposed to take care of my friends if I can't even take care of myself?" 

"Here's the thing. You don't have to take care of anyone. But you do, George, because you're a good person. You care deeply about your fans, and Dream, and even Sapnap - though it doesn't show often. There comes a time, though, when you have to turn back and focus on yourself. Because you're right, you can't take care of other people that well when you have something you need to take care of within yourself." I looked back at the house, glimpsing a figure in green at window. 

"How do I fix it?" I murmured.

"You don't, because nothing's broken. You've been deprived of your basic need for a father. That's not fair and it's not your fault. Nothing about this is your fault."

"I guess you're right. I just wish he were still here."

A little boy ran home, his shoes pounding on pavement. He was out of breath, dark brown hair falling in his face. His brown eyes were wide and his smile was huge as he burst through the door of the pale green house. 

"Daddy, Mommy! I finished my first day of school!" A short man with the same brown hair scooped the boy up in a hug, then lifted him high in the air. 

"That's my boy! Did you make any friends yet?" He asked, his voice light.

"I'm sure he did, my Georgie will be the talk of the school." A woman appeared, a mug in her delicate hands. She smiled as the little boy ran to her, and she kissed him on the forehead.

"Would you like a snack dear? Come sit down, and tell me all about your first day."

~One year later~

The boy, a little older now, stood in a stark white room. The woman was on a chair behind him, her eyes tired and her posture slumped. He stared at the man, who lay still in the bed. 

"Mom, when will dad get better?"

"I don't know darling, I don't know." She said sadly, her voice breaking. A beep, sharp and shrill sounded from a machine. The woman stood up in a moment, hurrying out of the room. The little boy grabbed the man's hand, gripping onto it. The woman returned with a nurse and a doctor, who quickly became busy trying to revive the man.

"I love you daddy." The little boy whispered as the doctor shook his head, reducing the woman to tears. He ran into his mother's arms, trying his best to comfort her as she sobbed. 

"George, it wasn't your fault." Harvey said softly. "Come here." I sunk into the hug, feeling tears slip down my cheeks. After a few moments I sniffled, pulling away. I wiped my cheeks, embarrassment rushing through me.

"I'm sorry." 

"Don't be." I looked back at the house, where Dream still stood, high in a window. "Let's go back inside." I nodded, following him back into the elegant structure. I hurried up the stairs, where Clay was waiting with a mug in hand. He turned around.

"Hey." He said gently, his voice faint like a whisper. "I um, I made you a cup of espresso. It may not be the best espresso in the world but I tried-"

"I'm sure it's just fine, Dream." I cut him off, smiling. He handed me a mug that was beside him on the table. I moved closer to him, until we were only a few centimeters apart. 

"This is nice. Being here, with everyone. I'm happy we did it." He murmured. 

"I am too." I sipped my espresso. Holy mother of the queen, this is really good.  "Dream, this is so good. I'm not even joking, I'm not a coffee person but this is like really really  good." He laughed.

"Thanks, I just tried to remember what you did the other day, with my own touch of course. I'm happy you like it." His sweatshirt rustled as he took a sip of his own coffee. "Was your chat with Harvey nice?" I nodded.

"Yeah, it was good. He's only 20 but he's really mature. How he got that from all that UHC, I have no idea." I chuckled. 

"Good, I'm glad. Have you seen Techno? I thought he arrived a couple days ago but I haven't talked to him yet." 

"I have not. Maybe he's up to something; it is Techno after all." I replied.

"Yeah, maybe." He mused, staring at the tumultuous gray expanse before us. I heard someone approaching, but didn't have a chance to turn around before I felt an arm slung around my shoulder.

"Good afternoon, Dream, Georgenotfound." I sighed. 

"What do you want Tommy?" 

"I have a proposition for you."

~

inspiring song(s)

lessons - mxmtoon

~

an: i didn't cry writing this chapter, you did >:'///// no, in all seriousness though, this was a really hard one to write. i relate to george a lot and so part of this felt like writing about me, and i had to stop multiple times and remind myself that this is george (as a fictional character, at least) not me. i hope you guys liked it, drop some feedback maybe? i worked out some deadlines for chapters so i should be following a set plan to make sure the christmas chapter comes out on christmas day :) i love you guys and afri out <3