Alex Carter: A Red Band Society Fanfiction

Beating Cancer the Right Way

        "Jordi, you thinking about your leg?" Alex asked, not looking away from the window.

        Jordi sighed, "Yeah, I just can't believe it's happening."

        Leo looked up from the book he'd been reading. "Look, dude. You'll get through it."

        "Well of course he knows that. He's just worried how much of him will. Right?" Alex asked. Jordi just stared at her and nodded wordlessly.

        "I can't say I relate exactly," Alex began, striding across the room to sit on the edge of Jordi's bed, "but I know what you're going through. When I had the first of many surgeries that included the removal of parts of my brain, I freaked. I thought I wasnt going to be as smart as I was. Granted when I first had this fear I was like eight, but it just increased the more they took. Everytime I went into surgery I asked my doctor if I was going to not know how to do everyday tasks. Or if I was going to forget things. Everytime it was a no, but it still scared me. I knew they could only take so much of my brain, and I knew one day they'd reach the limit."

        Leo nodded. "Yeah. In this case, you'll actually be handicapped when you come out of it, so it's okay to be scared. I was."

        "I've tried to prepare myself for that, but I won't truly know until I lose it. The best part is knowing I'll be cancer free." Jordi said.

        "That's the worst part about it. When you have cancer, your body slowly gets taken over. You kind of have an identity crisis when you first get it, and you'll have another one when you lose it. It's like cancer is so big, it doesn't just take over your body physically, but it takes over your whole life. You then wonder what your life will be like without having to worry about how much it's spread, or  how much another round of chemo is going to hurt, or how much longer you have until you give in to it, how much longer you have until the battle ends."

        "Free, but handicapped." Leo said mournfully.

        "It's like no matter what, cancer's always going to affect me. It'll be a part of me. Whether I have it or not," Jordi says, his tone equally mournful.

        "No!" Alex said,rather forcefully. "I mean, yes, cancer will always affect you. Everything somehow manages to stick with you. But that doesn't mean it's a part of you. During your battle with cancer, don't  come this far just to beat it physically but not mentally. It's one of the worst things you can do."

        "What do you mean?"

        "I mean, when your surgery is done, you'll beat cancer physically. But if you're scarred with this thought that cancer is a part of you and will always be there to remind you and keep you from being who you are, then you'll live like you never won. Don't think that. Like you've already lost after you've won. You'll walk around like a corpse. You're physically alive, but mentally you're dead. It's the worst thing ever. Trust me, I know. I may not be like that now, but I get closer to it everyday. Don't you willingly drag yourself down in the very thing that I am fighting to keep from happening every minute of my shortened life. Because when that day comes, I will be as good as gone. If you don't have you, then there's no point to this life."