Alex Carter: A Red Band Society Fanfiction

The First Goodbye

Alex ran a hand through her hair, searching the hallways for Nurse Jackson. She didn't like how she was so quick to anger these days, but there was no stopping it in the current moment, her irritation having been stoked, it was here to stay for the time being. She wasn't looking where she was going and bumped into a pair of scrubs. "Hey now, you gotta watch where you're going," came Kenji's familiar voice. 

"Sorry," Alex muttered, looking past him. 

He took in her appearance, his hand on his hip. "Are you okay?" He asked. He didn't give her more than a beat to answer, and she was glad he didn't. "Who are you looking for?"

"Nurse Jackson," she urged. "I need to know when my next appointment is with the nutritionist, I can't keep up with this regimen." She then added, "And I need to know if my treatment plan review can be moved up, I have questions." 

Kenji's expression molded into one of concern. "Hey," he said, putting his hand on her shoulder. "It's gonna be okay, she's out right now with Jordi, she'll be back soon and I'll let her know you were looking for her. But these things aren't going to be addressed right now. Walk with me to the nurse's station, I'll look to see about moving up your treatment plan review."

She nodded distantly, trying to change gears, having been so focused on finding Nurse Jackson. She fell into stride with Kenji, as he turned her gently to walk with him. "What's Nurse Jackson doing with Jordi?" she asked aloud. 

"Alexandra, you know I can't just go around sharing another patient's medical business with you, even if they're your friend." He looked down at her, holding his clipboard against his chest. "You don't seem to be feeling all that much like yourself," he stated. 

"I'm not," she confirmed. She paused for a beat before clarifying, "Nothing feels right. My body doesn't feel right. And I'm always too tired, too cold, or too hot. I'm so uncomfortable all the time, like an itch you can't scratch."

"Mmhmm," Kenji replied. "Have you had any tremors, shaking, or blurry vision?"

"No," Alex replied with a sigh. 

"Okay. At least there's that. Alex, when you learned that the cancer spread, what you're experiencing now, they're the side effects of that. I know that doesn't help necessarily solve it, but it can provide some explanation. Once we're done at the nurse's station, I need you to try and do a physical activity, maybe some meditation, something to ground you. You need to be able to preserve some stability, that will help." 

Alex didn't answer, was eerily silent beside him. It wasn't exactly an easy conversation or thing to hear. And Kenji hated this part just as much as anyone. The part when you go to your doctor because it's their job to stop the pain, to make things feel right and function normally again, and they can't do anything. 

"I'll see about adding an anti-anxiety medication or mood stabilizer to your regimen, that will also help you probably feel more normal. But that will have to be signed off at your treatment plan review. And as much as you hate the meal regimen, routine is good. Eating at the same time every day will give some semblance of balance." 

Alex nodded from beside him. They were nearing the nurse's station now, and in the few yards they walked Alex went from annoyed and slightly frantic to now wanting to cry. She needed Jordi now more than ever. "Are you sure you can't tell me where Jordi is?" She tried again. "He's a minor and I'm a minor, you're not telling anyone with actual standing."

"Well that might not be true for much longer."

Alex felt her eyes grow wide, and she gasped slightly. "What do you mean? I thought his trial wasn't for a couple weeks?"