Ineffable Husbands Oneshots

Drunken Rambling

There was a slam of the door. Beelzebub stormed towards the office of Archangel Fucking Gabriel. They shoved any one in his way. Most of the angels got the message and jumped out of his way, whispers following then as they made their way down the corridor.

"GABRIEL. You mother fucking asshole." Beelzebub found the archangel, standing in stunned silence.

Beelzebub grabbed Gabe's arm and pulled him toward an office space. The archangel's body being dragged across the floor.

Once inside, they let go of his arm. With a thud, Gabe looked up at the demon with both fury and fear. He didn't say anything waiting for the enraged demon lord to tell him what the hell is wrong. He kind of knew what it was about. Being an archangel, he was always busy and didn't have the chance to text his love back. He then noticed the wine bottle in their hand, almost empty.

"I can't believe you keep ghosting me. You have such a thick skull. I can't believe that I could love a idiot like you!" Bee was pacing, looking at the ground and giving a withering glare every so often at the stunned angel. "I know you can't be that busy, Hastur told me Micheal has been complaining about how you haven't done any work you've been assigned to, so don't use that as an excuse."

Gabe could only stare at the raging demon, who he believed didn't have any feelings for him. "I've been busy. Michael has been on my ass and I've been trying to catch up before Michael gets Hastur to set me on fire."

Bee stopped in their tracks. Slowly turning to look at Gabe. They had a poker face, not allowing any thoughts show on their face. "What?"

Gabe restated his excuse. He began to worry that he had upset the demon lord and would burst into flames at any moment.

Letting out a hissing sigh, Bee threw their hands up in the air, yeeting the bottle which shattered against the white wall. Last drops painting the wall. "Then why have you been ignoring my texts? You could just acknowledge that you've read them. I can see when they are read."

Gabe looked confused. "I haven't been able to read any messages. I've been too busy."

"Then why do they say read?" Beelzebub asked, not believing him.

"Your guess is as good as mine."

Bee took their phone out and looked at the messages. A blush of embarrassment rose up their face, realizing they had texted the wrong entity.

Showing their phone to Gabriel, he had to hold down a laugh.

The name of the entity was God.

Gabe couldn't hold back his laughter back. He watched as Bee stormed out, flipping him off.