Ineffable Husbands Oneshots

Before the Escalators

Crowley looked down the large hole. He always liked the adrenaline rush when he had to give progress report to Hell. Taking a deep breath, he jumped into the abyss. "Wahoooo!" Grinning like an idiot, he threw his hands up into the air.

One of the perks of being a demon was not having to fly or climb the stairway to heaven. He would hate being in the angel's shoes. Feeling the warmth of hell, he slowed his fall with his wings. He landed gracefully amidst the congregation of demons.

"What's up! It ya boi!" He threw finger guns to a random demon, who just scurried away from him.

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Azi huffed as he finally gotten halfway up the stairway to heaven. Looking behind him, all he saw was the white stairs leading steeply back to Earth. He sat down on the current step and tried to catch his breath. He internally cursed the white, spotless steps underneath him. He knew he could fly, but that honestly is just as bad, sometimes even worse that walking.

As if the stair read his thoughts, he found himself plummeting down towards Earth. He caught himself with his wings and pulled himself upwards. He gave the back-to-normal stairway the dirtiest glare he could muster as he flew up to the heavens.

Finally arriving at his destination, he collapsed on the clean floor. Gabriel, Uriel, and Michael were waiting for him. "Welcome Principality Aziraphale. What's your status report?"