Left or Right

Chapter 4

Riley's POV:

During dinner, I sat opposite James, next to Imogen who was sat opposite Piper. Deborah had eaten before all of us earlier on, so it was just the kids, James and I eating. The entire time, Imogen spent most of her time telling me about the dramas at her school, being seven years old, and apparently there was one boy who has a supposed crush on her. 

I could tell James detested the idea of that, not only because Imogen was half the age of Piper, but because James couldn't stand the idea of his younger sisters being with anyone in general.

Back when we were dating, I remember how livid he would get when I went on family trips with them and he saw a boy trying to chat up Piper. It made his veins burst and so when they do at the mention of this 'Harry' boy who likes Immy, I tried to calm him down by tapping my feet against his, slowly connecting them. Sensing the gesture, he looked up at me and we smiled at each other softly before he connected his feet with mine so that they were now more firm than loose.

As we finished eating, Piper and Immy ran off to their rooms and I stood up, collecting the dishes to wash them. Just as I put them into the sink and reach for the sponge to wash them, James's hand brushes my own and when I turn around to look, he says, "I'll do them. Don't even worry about it. You just go and rest, okay. I'll be up in a bit."

"Are you sure? I don't mind-"

"Riley, you're the guest. I may not be the kindest gentlemen but I'm polite enough to not make a guest wash mine and my sisters dirty dishes," he chuckles. I smile softly and nod, letting go of the sponge and putting it aside.

"Okay," I say, brushing my hand over his arm. "I think I'm going to get some sleep. See you tomorrow?"

"See you in the morning," he says. He shoots me a smile and I do the same before walking around him and the kitchen table. I say goodnight to Deborah and then make my way up to the guest room where I had already made the bed and unpacked my essentials. 

Though I said I was going to go straight to bed, I watched one more episode of PLL: The Perfectionists and when the episode finished, I made my way out of the bedroom to go to the bathroom and brush my teeth. Midway through doing so, I heard a couple of footsteps and as I looked up in the reflection of the mirror, I saw James standing in his room through the gap in the opened bathroom door. He was shirtless, wearing only joggers and when I manage to capture his gaze, he grins at me. I roll my eyes at him and spit out the remnants of toothpaste before washing my mouth with a muslin cloth and then walking back into the bedroom. As I pass James's room, I stop to say goodnight and then leave.

. . .

The next morning, I wake up to find James sat on the edge of my bed, scrolling through his phone and as soon as I see him, I gasp, shuffling backwards and pulling the sheets up to cover my chest. I wasn't necessarily undressed but I didn't have a bra on and I didn't need him gazing at my breasts right now. "What the hell are you doing in my room, James?" I question, rolling my eyes at him. 

"Don't act like I didn't used to sleep with you, Ri. Me being in your room when you wake up should be a pretty normal routine by now."

"Yeah, but that was back when we were together. We aren't anymore so you can't just enter my room as and when you feel like it." Huffing, I tuck the loose strands of hair at the front of my face behind my ear and I get up, sliding my feet into the slippers I had set out for myself before I slept yesterday. James keeps his eyes watching me eagerly as I put on my hoody but as I do, he smirks, making me frown. "What now?" I ask, folding my arms over my chest.

"If we're not together then why do you still wear my hoodies, Riles?" he says.

"James, you were the one who made this whole 'friends' thing and now you keep on teasing me about it. Can you just make your mind up already," I moan. I'm about to head out of there to go and shower but he quickly stands up and pulls me back by the hand. I don't turn around and so he steps in front of me instead. Letting go of my hand, he drops his own by his sides and then raises an eyebrow at me.

"What is it, Riley? You've been acting fishy ever since you got here-"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing-"

"It clearly means something," I scoff. He looks around the room and licks his lip, searching for his words and I shake my head at myself. I knew what he was talking about but I just wasn't willing to say the truth yet. If I was to tell James, he would get worried and would probably tell Deborah who would then tell my parents and neither Mom nor Dad would ever believe me. Even if they did believe me, it wouldn't matter. Their work is more important to them than I am.

"Riley," James says softly, taking one step closer to me. Since he was taller, it almost intimidated me how he looked down on me with his eyes piercing into my skin. I had no other option than to look deep into his own chestnut brown irises and I feel my heart somersault. "I dated you for three years. I know when something's wrong with you," he says, making my stomach twist. "Whatever's going on with you, you can tell me. I want to be there for you."

I'm about to respond but stop when I feel him connect his hands with mine. By him doing this, he's only reminding me of my feelings for him when we were together but I know we can't be a thing anymore. Mom won't allow it if she was to find out and, besides, her and Dad want me to be with Nate. 

"James, I just can't do this right now, okay," I tell him lightly. I let go of his hands and shake my head. As I walk past him, lightly nudging him in the shoulder, I pause when I reach the bedroom door. "Stop acting like we're together. You're only making everything worse," I whisper without turning around to face him. 

When he remains silent, I leave the room and make my way into the bathroom to get away from him. The more time I was to spend with him, the more my feelings would grow and the more it would hurt in the future.

I just don't want time to repeat itself. Not now. Not ever.