Left or Right

Chapter 31

.Riley.

The following morning, I open the door of my bedroom, only to find James stood there, pacing up and down as if he had been planning on talking to me since he woke up - which, based on the look on his face, was a couple of hours ago.
I hadn't spoken to either one of his family since yesterday afternoon when I overheard what I did but it wasn't exactly because I was mad at them. I just needed some time to think and breathe without impetuously saying something I don't mean.

At the sound of the creak of my door opening, he turns himself around to look at me, but before I could say anything, he shakes his head at me and then moves over, leading me back inside the guest room before I could say a single word and then he closes the door shut behind him, causing me to look at him confusedly.

"James, now's not the time," I mumble, crossing my arms over my chest as I avoid eye-contact with him by looking down towards the floor, but he wasn't having it. He shakes his head at me again and narrows his eyes, as if I was somehow in the wrong.
"Riley, I need you to listen to me and understand that we're not getting rid of you."

"I don't care anymore," I whisper, dropping my arms by my sides. "I don't expect you to keep me here. I'm not upset and I'm not mad," I tell him, my voice not shaking by the slightest. I was doing him a favour by not talking to him all throughout last night and yesterday afternoon, but that's something he can't seem to understand.

"If you're not mad then why did you ignore me all of yesterday?" he questions confusedly, his voice stern in tone and harsh in words.
"I was thinking. Am I not allowed some alone time to myself anymore?" I question, looking up at him. He sighs, the look on his face softening.

He takes a step closer to me in the attempt to hold my hands but I shake him away.
"Don't," I mumble, brushing him off and stepping aside. "We're not together anymore, okay. I don't need more confusion in my life," I tell him. I knew it would hurt his feelings and I knew it would leave him thinking about it, but I couldn't deal with it anymore. "Please can you just leave me on my own for a bit."

"Don't you want to get something to eat?" he asks me, his voice softened and light. Looking at him, I shake my head in dismissal and then don't say anything at all. Once he takes the hint, he sighs and backs away from me, telling me that he'd be in his room if I need anything - not that I would.
Once he's gone, he closes the door behind him, leaving me on my own again so that I could breathe and rethink everything.

Deborah didn't want me here, James and I had broken up, the team hate my guts, Stephanie has it out for me for some reason . . .
Is there any reason to be staying here anymore? Maybe I'd be better off with Mom and Dad in Montreal where Nate is. Maybe that's less torture than the feeling of being alone and hated upon.

. . .

Later that day, I had already come to the conclusion of what it was I wanted to do. It was clear that no one really wanted me here anymore so what was the point in staying? By the time it was the evening, I had already packed my suitcases up to leave.

James had gone out with Piper, so there was no fear in coming across them when I go to wherever it was I was intending to. Deborah was out with Tom as well for their anniversary, so I was home alone. Now was the perfect time for me to just up and leave.

Internationals were tomorrow, so it was just one more night before we'd be staying in the hotel rooms there for three days, but straight after that, it would be time to return home, then I'd have more to think about.
One night out on the streets won't hurt, will it?

In any normal circumstance, I would have gone to one of the girls, but the chances of them hearing me out right now is incredulously low. Whether he wants to admit it or not, I doubt James adores the idea of his ex-girlfriend living with him.
I want him to be free - to move on from me.

We both knew we wouldn't be able to ever return to what we were the moment I got into my parents' car in the first place, when I originally left for Montreal. Why would we work out now just because I've chosen to stay here for a few weeks?

As I walked down the street, I wheeled my suitcase along with me, looking for the perfect shelter to stay under for the night. I couldn't care less about what people thought of me or how cold it was or how bad it looked. I couldn't even care less about who would see me like this at this point. Everyone was looking at me in disgust already, including my own mother and father.
What difference would it make if one of them were to come out and find me now?

"Riley?" a voice calls from behind me as I continued to wheel my luggage behind me. At the rough sound of their tone, I come to a halt and shut my eyes, just praying it wasn't anyone on the team.
Turning around to face them though, my eyes land on Harry's and he looks at me in confusion. "You okay? Where are you going? Isn't it a little late for you to be out? Or more-so travelling?" he asks me, taking a few steps closer towards me.

Last time he had gotten this close to me, I had completely lashed out on him and it was uncalled for. The only reason I did it was because so many things were on my mind and James and I were dating at the time but I guess now that I've let him go . . .

"I could ask you the same thing," I sneer, folding my arms over my chest. He plays with me a little, letting me have my little game as he responds:
"My sister's got her friends over for the night and they're all a bunch of twelve-year-olds so I got tired of their bickering and made my escape. So back to my original question; what are you doing out this late, Ri?"

"I was just," I begin to say before hesitating as my eyes meet his own. He raises an eyebrow and then speaks again, in the attempt of finishing my sentence off for me.
"Getting the next flight to Internationals?" he says sarcastically. "Because, believe it or not, the entire team is getting the flight together tomorrow morning, Riley."

"I know," I whisper, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "But, believe it or not," I mimic his words, "going to the airport was not on the agenda tonight."
"It wasn't?" he asks, taking another step closer.
"Nope. Quite the opposite actually," I mumble.

He looks at me confusedly, waiting for me to elaborate, and it's only after really taking a look over him that I decide to let him in. What else did I have to lose right now? He could have me or leave me - it didn't really effect me anymore.

"This is going to sound terrible but," I begin, earning his attention as he jumps onto his tiptoes, ready to listen to whatever I had to say. "Would you happen to have room for one more? I don't want to go into details but . . . I'm sort of not really wanted by anyone right now," I confide in him, to which he sighs and nods.

"I've always got room for one more," he tells me with a light smile making its way onto his face. "All you've gotta do is say the word and you've got a key."