Left or Right

Chapter 42

.Riley.

"James, it was nothing, okay? I swear, it's fine," I say to James once again that same evening.
I knew he was suddenly acting all cautious over me being alone with anyone - whether it be Nate, Harry or even the girls. I understood why but he didn't need to be at all.

Harry and I were never a thing and we never will be. All he's ever been to me was the one person who was actually there for me when I was alone.
He looked out for me when the girls were acting funny, he stayed with me after rehearsals when James had been hanging with the guys and he allowed me to stay with him and his sister when I needed it.

There was nothing threatening about him at all - in fact I'd done nothing but ask a simple question. I was the one who instigated the conversation in the first place, not Harry.

"Do you promise?" he asks, looking into my eyes.

Everyone was already sat at the table for dinner but he and I were stood slightly out of reach from them.

My back was against the wall while he stood in front of me and he holds my hands, stroking the backs of them.
But this time, I don't think he was doing it because he was trying to calm me down. He was doing it for his own benefit to calm himself down.

I smile up at him and let go of one of his hands so I could cup his cheek instead, directing his eyes to meet mine. "I promise," I whisper to him tenderly.

My eyes glance down to his lips while his do the same with mine but before we had the chance to give each other a quick kiss, the guys wave us over, calling our names out to gain our attentions, making both of our gazes fall upon the table the rest of the team were sat at.

"Come on, love-birds. You have time to do all of that smut later," West calls out, making me roll my eyes before James turns around and we head over to the table together before sitting down in our seats beside one another.

Harry looks at me from across the table and nods his head, giving me a light smile which I reciprocate.

James obviously caught onto it quickly but to make sure he didn't go into full overprotective mode once again, I place my hand on his knee beneath the table and I rest my head against his shoulder after scooching my chair slightly closer towards his own.

This wasn't something he needed to worry about. It was all just something to do with me, myself and I.
I couldn't guilt him into taking more bullets for me any longer.

However, just as our platters of pizza arrived at the table, my phone started ringing from the inside of the pocket of my hoody which originally belonged to James but had gradually become mine.

I take my phone out only for my eyes to meet my mother's contact and I sigh, chewing the inside of my cheek.

James peers over my shoulder to take a look at who it was before he raises an eyebrow at me, placing his hand above mine where it was still on his knee.
"Are you going to answer it?" he asks.

I look at him, my eyes wondering around his, circling each detail of his face then I nod slowly.
"I'll be right back," I say to everyone sat around at the table.

Kate rolls her eyes, clearly not having any idea what was going on.
She was oblivious to everything, like usual, but if she did know I can guarantee she wouldn't be acting as brutal as she was in this current moment.

James lets go of my hand, letting me stand up and walk over towards the exit of the hall so I stood in the corridors by myself.
Answering the call, I breathe in and then let it out again, ready to hear whatever Mom had to say to me.
I knew it wouldn't be anything good. It never was.

"Hello?" I say, my voice small compared to her booming one which travelled down the line.

"Riley. I've been trying to get a hold of you for weeks now," she starts off, making me roll my eyes.
"What do you think you're doing? You should be here. Tell me why I've had the police trying to get a hold of your father and I left right and centre regarding Nate these past couple days."

Her voice was stern and strict and I had no idea how she was expecting me to respond. As my silence fills the atmosphere, so does Mom's until she finds it in her to begin talking again, this time with a much more subtle tone.
"Just talk to me, darling. All I want is to have my baby girl back."

"I don't know what you want me to say, Mum," I admit to her in a low voice as it gradually began to break. "Nate isn't who you think it is and the fact you sent him all the way down here to come and get me makes me wonder what kind of parents you and Dad really are..."

I take a deep breath, closing my eyes while my eyes scanned the walls, trying to distract myself from the tears threatening to escape my eyes.
I hadn't spoken to Mom in so long... I'd hoped that the next time we spoke it would be sentimental and sweet and things would have changed but it all seemed to be exactly the same as it has been for months now. She won't change.

"Just come home, Riley," she whispers to me, enough for me to picture the tears welling up in her eyes too. But it couldn't have mattered any less.
She broke me a long time ago. The second she pulled me away from my home.

"No, Mom," I whisper to her, gaining enough courage to do so. "You can come home," I say to her. "Because I've been waiting for you to come home for ages."

"Riley," she whispers to me in the attempt of keeping the conversation going but I didn't want to hear it.
Without hesitation, I hang up the phone and close my eyes, letting the light dots of tears escape while I looked back at A-Troupe as they sat at the table.

James's eyes meet mine but I shake my head, turning to leave and head back to the dorms.
I just needed to be alone for a bit. Just to breathe.