Left or Right

Chapter 18

Riley's POV:

"That was really good, I like that," I say with a light laugh as I listen to the band's new song they had been working on the past few weeks. Considering James wasn't hear, they had to use a drum machine in the background but I'm sure the song would sound that much better if he was here playing in person.
"Yeah, but there was one more thing we were looking to add to it," Luke says, smiling. He looks up at John who had the same nervous smile playing on his lips, only making me look at them confusedly.
"What is it, guys?" I chuckle to diffuse whatever tension was in the room. It stays silent for a couple of extra moments but just as Luke's lips move when he was about to answer, another, much louder sound is heard as my phone pings with a text message to break the quietude. "Sorry, hold on," I say, taking my phone out of the pocket of my hoody and checking it to find a text message, this time not from Nate.

James - Meet me on the roof in 3 x
Riley - On my way x

"Sorry, guys, I've gotta go real quick. I'll be right back," I tell the boys.
They begin to ask questions like where, why and if everything was okay but I ignore them and begin to head out of the recording studio, through the corridors up until I had reached Hidalgo's and then I walk out of the building, following my usual route up the stairwells to get to the roof where I find James pacing up and down.

"James?" I call him to gain his attention. He looks up at me and bites his lower lip in hesitation. Whatever he wanted to talk about, it was serious. "What's up? What's happened?" I ask, stepping closer to him. I'm just praying Nate hasn't found out about James.
"Ri, we need to talk-"
"Okay, then let's talk," I say but he shakes his head.
"No. An actual talk. You need to stop with the hints and the games and the secrets. You need to be completely open for me because I am not taking no or maybe for an answer this time." The tone of his voice scares me a little. It's as if he's talking to Beth or someone, not me. And for some reason it immobilises me and all I can do is nod.
"Okay," I mumble. He raises an eyebrow at me but I nod again, causing him to step closer towards me. He doesn't hold my hands, instead he just looks straight into my eyes, his stern look not diminishing.

"You need to join dance again," he tells me and I immediately shake my head, taking one step back.
"No. Just . . . no, okay. You can't force me to do something I don't want to do."
"But you do want to do it, you've just been brainwashed by some guy who probably doesn't even like you-"
"Don't tell me what and what hasn't happened to me, James. I know what I'm saying when I say I don't want to do dance. I just don't wanna do it anymore. I've moved on, okay."
"Riley," he says, reaching for my hands. I don't know why I let him hold them but I do. "This same thing happened to Michelle last year-"
"Yeah, and now look. She went back to dance and she's an alternate."
"Not because of that reason though," he tells me, only making me shake my head in exasperation. "Riley, you love dance. I know you do."
"Yeah? How can you be so sure?" I question snidely, staring at him with my eyebrows narrowed.

He bites his tongue and looks at me, shaking his head and walking away from me before turning around again. We were both annoyed with each other right now. It's exactly like when we were dating. Dance only ever leads to the two of us arguing and I don't want that. I can't deal with that. Sure, it might bring us together, but is that even worth it when all we're doing is hurting and irritating one another in the process? Dance is a heartbreaker.

"Riley, we fell in love with each other through dance," he tells me, making me bite my lip. "Dance is the one thing that pulls us together. You were upset with me for choosing band over dance and now you're choosing nothing over dance."
"I am choosing something, James," I state, shaking my head at him. "I'm choosing my head over my heart."
"And since when was that ever a good thing?"
"Since my heart's been broken again and again and again and every time it was, dance had some relation to it," I spit out. "You have no idea how much I've been through, James. You don't know what it was like for me to watch you kiss Beth. You don't know what it felt like to see you forfeit the battles for me. You don't know what it was like having to watch you go to band everyday whilst I was on A-Troupe, and you have no idea what it's been like for me in these past three to four months. So don't you dare talk to me about choosing nothing over dance. I'm merely just choosing happiness after heartache. I thought you wanted me to be happy?"

"Riley," he whispers. He squeezes my hands and takes another step closer, his expression softening as he looks at me. "Of course I want you to be happy-"
"Then leave it. I'm not joining TNS again unless my life depends on it, which it doesn't."

Silence.

"I thought TNS was your home," he whispers finally, staring at me harder. I don't think a single one of us have blinked during this whole conversation. "I thought you loved me that much that you would at least do this for me, Riley," he says, and I look at him, closing my eyes lightly. If I look at him now, it's likely I'll fall under his spell and I'll be trapped all over again. I don't need anymore heartache to add onto what I'm already suffering from. I don't need to pull James into my mess.

Reaching up, I place my warm hand on his cold cheek and I whisper, "Is this really about love? Or is it about pain?"
And when he doesn't answer, I open my eyes again as a tear rolls down my cheek and I find him staring at me again, beyond confused at my words. Without another word, as we're both stood there speechless and still, in a bubble of confusion, he leans down and cups my cheeks, pressing his lips to mine.
"It's about us," he mumbles, kissing me still. "It's about us and how much I need you." 
We pull apart and I stare at him with wide eyes, in absolute shocked, but I can't seem to help it either. I go onto my tiptoes and rest my hands on his chest, kissing him even more hungrily. His hands move down to my waist and he pulls me close to him as I push him in the direction of the wall so that he was up against it and he later picks me up by the thighs, allowing me to move my hands to his hair where I comb my fingers through his curls.
"Don't stop, James," I whisper when our lips break apart. Looking into his eyes, I smile at him softly as I find him smiling at me too.
"I won't," he says, kissing me again, this time with much more passion.