Left or Right

Chapter 40

.Riley.

"How does that feel? Is it okay or too tight?" the nurse asks me as James and I sat in one of the hospital rooms later that night.
No matter how many times I tried telling James I was perfectly fine, he didn't want to believe me and so forced me here to get my arm checked out by a professional. 

Both the nurse and James were being particularly careful around me, making sure to say the right things and not tread on any egg-shells, but what I think they're forgetting to realise is that I'm okay. I've always been okay, it was just a minor setback.
I'm still me - the same Riley James has grown to love. He doesn't need to panic or worry about me. When he and I are together, everything's just fine. 

"It's okay," I tell her, moving my hand out of her grip as my forearm had been wrapped in a bandage.

They were doing all of this for nothing. A few scars had opened up but it was nothing major. I wasn't going to die. The worst thing that could have happened would be me contracting a small infection. 

James was sat on the chair opposite me while I sat on the edge of the bed.
He offers me a small smile which I reciprocate, taking hold of his hand and placing it on my knee, allowing me to trace small shapes over the back of his palm. 

Everyone else was back at the Internationals arena. Today was the sudden death groups they had thrown in but Amanda had stepped up for that one following her trip away to Sweden.
We'd be heading back there straight after this appointment before the five-person dance was due on. 

Everyone had been calling for me not to dance. James didn't want me to dance - the nurse said if it had been twenty-four hours since the incident happened, it's okay to step out there and perform but I had no idea what the ordeal would be when the time gets to it.
I wanted to dance more than anything. But what would the girls' views on that be? Last time I checked, they all still hated me.

"Remember, if you feel like doing it again at any point in time-" the nurse begins to say softly before I sigh, nodding my head.
"Go to James, yeah, I know and I will," I say with a small smile, looking over at him as he gives my hand a light squeeze. 

"Well, you and I are going to be inseparable for a while so if you ever do think like that, I'll be right there with you," he responds, bringing my hand up to his lips to kiss it before keeping my palm cupped in between his hands while I bit my lip. 

It was like nothing had happened between James and I at all - like we weren't supposed to have broken up, like we were together, like we were okay.
It felt okay, everything felt natural with him. Without him, I'm a mess - everyone's noticed that.

"You've got a special boy, Riley. Don't let him go, okay?" the nurse says to me making me chuckle, nodding.

I don't even know how I could have let him go in the first place...

"Ready to go?" he asks, standing up but keeping his hand linked together with mine. With the simple nod of my head, I follow suit and stand myself beside him, our bodies side-by-side. 
"Thank you," I tell the nurse softly, who smiles at me gently and nods her head before we turn to leave, James's body securing me as he led the two of us out of there. 

I hated hospitals, he knew that more than anyone, so as soon as we step out, he detaches our hands from each other's and instead he wraps his arms all the way around me from behind before pressing a light kiss to my cheek.

"See, everything's okay," he whispers to me lightly. "When I say 'don't even worry about it', I mean it, Ri. You have nothing to worry about as long as I'm with you," he says, causing me to soften as I close my eyes for a short second before turning around in his arms. 

I bite my lip lightly and then lean up a little, stepping on the tips of my toes to press my lips against his own.
"Thank you," I say to him. 

He chuckles, rolling his eyes playfully and then he steps aside, beginning to lead the way to his car jiggling the keys in his hands, leaving me to have to catch up to him.
"I wouldn't be thanking me just yet," he mutters teasingly. 

I raise an eyebrow, not understanding what he was implying.
I follow him to the car and get into the passengers' seat after he had got into the drivers' seat and started the vehicle, revving the engine to get the car started. 

If I knew James the way I knew him, this sudden spontaneity meant he had something planned for us, just like usual.
And knowing him well enough already, I decide to not ask questions but keep my mouth zipped shut instead. 

He wouldn't give me any hints or clues as to where we were going no matter how hard I tried. When it came to dates, he was adamant on making sure it was something unexpectedly perfect that even the puppy dog eyes wouldn't work on him.
I guess it was one of the things I loved about him.

Only a few minutes later, we pulled up by the side of a lake where multiple other cars had parked themselves. James undoes his seat-belt and I copy him, getting out of the car and shutting the door behind me before instantly finding myself cowered under his wing again. 

He was probably right about the two of us being inseparable for a while.
The thought of not being near him and left alone with someone I don't trust terrifies me. 

Ever since Nate touched me two days yesterday.

The moment I walked out of the dorm room, thinking I was going to be met face-to-face with James, Nate grabbed me by the wrist and his hand laid tightly over the sensitive part of my arm.
I think that's what had made James fuss over it so much. The fact Nate may have hurt me triggered him deeply, and I couldn't blame him. 

"We've still got a couple of hours until we're due back. What do you say we chill here for a bit? Just us two like old times?" he asks, his arm wrapped around me.
Chuckling again, I nod my head, my body curled into his until we find ourselves a grassy patch on the field by the pond.

 A little girl was stood by the hedge, throwing tiny pieces of bread to the ducks, feeding each and every one of them, and as I watch over her, I soften.
I remember when I used to do that with Mom and Dad when I was younger. 

Now everything is just so different and nothing like what things used to be like. All I want is to be their little girl again but that seems to be something I'll never be able to accomplish. 

James's arm worms around my waist as we sat on the grass, sensing I was drifting into my own train of thought.
The moment I divert my eyes back towards his to look up at him, he gestures for me to move forward until he pulls me down to sit between his legs, his hands clasped together around the front of my stomach. 

His head burrows into the crook of my neck while I leant back against his chest and his soft voice fills my ear.
"You're okay," he says to me lightly, kissing my shoulder. "You're okay." 

"I'm okay," I breathe out, making him kiss my cheek again.
But unlike other times I've said those words, this time I truly meant it. 

I would always be okay in James's arms - whether we're laying by each other's sides or if we're having a heated argument. He'll always be my person.