The Skin I'm In: New Problems, Old Scars (Urban Fiction)

Chapter 9

(Ve'Quell)

"I love you." The sound of her voice breaks me from my trance, my hands release the grip around her neck and she falls to the floor.

I watch as she rubs her neck and gasp for air. I am stuck and scared, how could I do this to her? I know she hates me.

"Kalifa... I'm sorry." Is all that I can manage. I bend down to touch her and she lets me. "I... I don't know..."

"Are you ok? I guess it's time to start taking your meds again." She barely smiles.

"I never want to be in that space again. I love you too and I am so sorry. Do you forgive me?" I stretch my arms out wanting to wrap my arms around her the right way.

She moves closer to me and I think she's going to hug me but instead she just stares at me. She looks scared, angry, sad and confused.

"What is it?" I ask slowly.

"That was not you. You don't act like that, you never have. What's going on?" Her voice trembles.

"I don't know Kalifa, I haven't had an episode in a while so maybe..." my own voice trembles. The drug, it had to do it, it had to make me violent, make me lose it, it just had too.

"Ve'Quell... You have a black eye, bruises on your neck and wrist, that didn't come from me. What happened?" She says while tears puddle in her eyes.

"I got into it with some teammates, nothing to worry about." I lie.

"OK Q, if you say so." She hugs me and laid her head on my chest.

"I am really sorry, I don't know what happened this time." She snaps her head up and slaps me in the face, hard.

"This time? There won't be a next time." She stands and walks upstairs to our room, I assume. I sit there on the floor stunned, rubbing my stinging face.

(Kalifa)

I can't believe he said "this time." I will not ever let that happen again. I am a reasonable person but who knows what will happen next time?

I turn the water on and plug the tub, I need to soak for awhile. I was livid and scared because I've never seen this before. Maybe I overreacted when I hit Ve'Quell but... I just don't know.

I poured in some lavender relaxing bubble beads and slowly undressed. I pulled my hair up into a bun and stepped in the water, even though the tub wasn't full. The sound of water calms me for some reason.

I laid my head back on my bath pillow, listening to the relaxation music on my phone. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths until I felt a little calmer. I turned the running water off when the tub was full enough.

"Can I come in?" Ve'Quell stood at the door, waiting for my answer. I took another deep breath and nod my head. "Are you still mad at me?" He looked at me with puppy dog eyes. I didn't respond immediately, instead I let the silence linger a little.

"No. I should be, I want to be but no, I'm not." I watched as his body relaxed and he sat on the edge of the tub.

"You are so beautiful and forgiving even when you shouldn't be." He rubbed my cheek gently.

"If God could forgive us for killing His son, I can forgive you." I close my eyes and lay my head back.

"You never seen to amaze me." He brushes my cheek again.

"I don't try." I sigh deeply, keeping my eyes closed.

"I did this to you?" He hand trails over my now bruised neck. "I am so sorry." His kisses takes the place of his fingers. "Let me wash you." His voice is low and scared. My eyes pop open and I see that he is crying.

Oh Ve'Quell, you are so lost...

I nod and hand him my towel and soap. His hands are shaking and I hold them still, reassuring him that I'm ok. For a while, he sits still, lathering soap onto the towel. I know he's in deep thought.

"Q... What's going on?" I ask while he gently scrubbed my back and neck with the lathered towel.

"I don't know." He sighs. "I love you so much Kalifa, I don't know what I'd do without you. Enough about me, what's up with you? You've been up and down this whole week, talk to me." He places a kiss on my forehead, now scrubbing my toes.

"I've found some things out recently and I don't know how to feel. I'm so lost Ve'Quell." I close my eyes, not wanting to talk any longer and he let me sit in silence.

When he finished, he helped me from the tub and towel dried my body and led me to the bedroom.

"I'm so sorry that you've been going through so much and I'm sorry that I am a big part of your problem." He kissed my lips briefly and laid me on my stomach. Yes, I need this exact moment.

I listen at the familiar clicking noise from my favorite strawberry and vanilla scented body oil. I squirmed a little as he let the oil drip onto my body. His hands slowly caressed my backside as he applied a little pressure.

After thirty minutes of his hands rubbing and exploring my body, he finally stopped. I was kind of sad but I know his hands hurt.

"Was that good enough for you not to be mad at me?" He asked quietly with his back turned from me.

"If I was mad, then yes, but I'm not mad." I pulled him into my arms and kissed his lips. "I was upset with you, not mad. I know you thought you had your condition under control, but you have to start taking your medication."

"You're right, I just knew I beat this though. I thought I had it." I saw the disappointment and anger in his eyes.

"And you did, you did great Q. You're doing great and you've overcame so much within the last few months." I nuzzled into his chest.

"Thank you. So what's really been going on with you?" He looks down at me with intense curiosity.

"I found out a lot about my past and other stuff." I talk slowly, wanting to be sleep.

"What about it?" He pulled me closer and buried his fingers in my hair.

"James isn't my real father."

Sorry for the rushed ending but what do you think?

Thanks for being loyal readers, U GUYS ROCK!!!!!!!!

-KarmaJane