The Skin I'm In: New Problems, Old Scars (Urban Fiction)

Chapter 18

*Before you read, I am giving a warning... This is a very touchy but common situation...*

(Ve'Quell)

"I can't keep doing this anymore, I need to let it all go, man I want to be with you." I spoke sadly.

"Come on, do it. It will be quick. I'll sit here and watch to make sure you hit." My brother smiled at me.

"I've been feeling so alone, I just want to take my final rest and come home."

"Well hurry up, I think somebody is coming. We're already here, there'sno more running." He was getting anxious.

"Wait, before I do this, I need to be sure. I will write a letter so I won't hurt Kalifa anymore."

"She will be fine Q, the only person hurting here, is you." He starts to get angry.

"But Vincent, what about the baby? He or she will never know their daddy."

"I don't care Ve'Quell, it's now or never. Either do it yourself or I'll do you one better. If you don't pull the trigger, I haunt you for the rest of you life. Hurry up please, you're wasting my time!" Now he was yelling at me, I didn't want to make him mad, since he's been gone, I've been sad.

"I'm only doing this to please you, so I need to make sure this is right before I leave with you." I start on my letter to leave for Kalifa.

Dear Kalifa,

I'm sorry it has came to this point, I never wanted to get here. I don't want to continously hurt you, so my best bet is to leave you here. I hope you're not the one who finds me, but if you do, please don't hate me. The last thing I want you to do, is get too fed up and hurt the baby.

I never thought that I would become an addict, as much as I hated my brother, being with him will only make me happy. I'm sorry I had to leave this way, but I don't won't you to see me this way.

Think only of the good times we had, I hope the memories of us keep you glad. I hope the times we shared keeps your mind off the reason why we're here. Tell my baby, daddy loves him or maybe even her.

If it's a boy, don't give him my name, I don't want him or you to relive this pain. If it's a girl, I think you should name her Chartreuse, or maybe even name her after you. I know you'll be a great mom, even without me. Cause with me here, your happiness is stopping.

I love you so much, Kalifa, never forget that... You are the reason why I made it this far, but this final goodbye, is really hard. So I'll say, see you later, hopefully not sooner than forever...

Sincerely sorry for this...

Q.

"Alright go put that note on the bed, I want to be here when you shoot yourself in the head." He laughed outloud.

"I guess it's now or never..." I took a deep breath, counting to three...

One... Do I really want to do this?

Two... Can I leave my family forever?

Three... Ve'Quell, get it together.

Inhale...

Exhale...

Inhale...

Exhale...

I put the cold barrel to my temple, this is the hardest thing to do. I thought this would be easy and simple...

"What are you waiting for?! Hurry up! Someone is coming to the door."

"Shut up Vincent, let me do this. It has to be right, it's my only chance."

Fingers shaking, unsteady breath. I feel my heart pounding outside of my chest.

Tears falls my from my face, I guess I'm done with this place. There's no turning back now...

Inhale...

Exhale...

As I pull the trigger, I hear a scream and see her face, FUCK! What am I doing? Shit, it's too late. I feel it hit me as I hit the floor, sorry Kalifa, I just can't anymore.

_______________________________________

Guys, I cried writing this chapter... It really hit a soft spot. I've seen this place way too many times and it's not okay...

If you ever feel suicidal or even have the thought, please contact family, friends, GOD! Even me, I'm always here for you guys.

Suicide is not anything to play with, it is a very SERIOUS disease... If any of my readers are in this place, please, I'm begging you, try to call someone! You can not take this back, I can't stress it enough... Inbox me, I'll give you my number, call me.

Thank you guys so much, I appreciate everything. Please keep the comments, votes and likes.

-KarmaJane♡