Dylan O'Brien//Imagines.

019~Caleb Holloway "Don't be that person."

"I am yours."

Here I am, sitting on a cramped life boat surrounded by horrified, scared, bloodless faces as I watch my dream fall infront of my face in a ball of smoke and fire.

The Deepwater horizon had been my second home for years. Since I was 10 years old I frequently spent my time either on the vessel or watching it from called with my dad or news articles. My father worked there since it's completion in 2002, and when he passed away 6 years ago I followed his dream and my own and began working there too. It was my home away from home and now it sinks below the surface of the Mexican waters, lost forever beneath the blackened sea.

Everything I dreamed it would become gone. Memories gone. My life gone. My friends, gone? I have no idea who made it out and who didn't, I was separated from everyone as soon as the explosion sounded. Frantic bodies rushing around for an exit, and escape anything. The screams of what became my family still etched into my mind.

*BOOM* the whole ground beneath my shook the metal in the support beams began to bend and deform under my hand as I held on. "What the hell was that?!!" I scream to Caleb. "I'm not sure darlin'." His thick accent still ever so present through the cracking and creaking of the vessel. "EVERYONE GET OUT." The screams of my fellow crew echo through the halls and barren doorways.

I immediately bolt for the door leaving a stunned Caleb still standing. "What are you doing? Come on Caleb!"  I run towards him and grab his hand and begin yanking him to the door when he grabs my hand and spins me around. "Look at me. I need to go back" he places his hands in my face holding my gaze captive.

"What no it's a suicide mission. What could you possibly need that's back there?" I'm frantic I can't lose him I can't lose the one person I have left in my life. "I need to see if there is anyone else on this floor and sweep the rest. I wouldn't sleep at night knowing I didn't help. I can't do it darlin' you know that."

"Look for once in your life don't be the hero. It is so selfish of me to say but please Caleb you are the only person I have in this world I will not lose you because you're brave. You are selfless and kind and honourable. But please Caleb between now and when we get off of this. Don't be those things. Don't be that person. " I plead with him but he stays firmly gripped to me face looking down on me with saddened and knowing eyes.

"Y/n-" his voice is low and sorrowful.
"No. No Caleb please." I shake my head holding onto his wrists begging him.

"Y/n look you know that I want to be with you I have since the day we damn met. You walked in with your sass and your stupid remarks and your gorgeous face. God this face. This is the reason I'm doing this. So I can see this face again. I will find you I promise you that. So go. Get off this death trap. Be selfish be brave and be smart and get your ass off this thing. " And with that he knelt down and kissed me. I was taken back for a second, this is the first time he has been so close yet so far. Within my reach but out of my touch. On my lips but I can't taste him. I can't feel. I don't feel. I won't feel. Not until I am with him again. Our lips are needy for one another savouring every motion, every taste, every sense as if it will be our last. He backs away and leaves me needing more for him, missing the warmth he brought me in the seconds he had me. He smiled a half smile as I cried, but we didn't speak; we couldn't. He turned and ran straight into the smoke and fire that had sealed into the room as we cried and said our silent goodbye.

That was the last time I saw him. His bright red jumpsuit delving further into the smog, his smell still in my nose, his taste still on my tongue. The blaze ahead of me is a reminder of everything. Of the life I had with everyone. Caleb, my father, my friends. They will die with this vessel because I'm the only one who remembers them and I don't think I can live knowing I'm the lone survivor in my little family. Smoked black tears streak my face as sobs surround me, shattering the atmosphere. The cries of women and men crumbled into husks of broken souls, their cries grow louder and louder until I have to cover my ears to shield me from the overstimulation of the many echos and frequencies.

The life boat I am on floats almost carelessly away from the dying shell of metal and black sticky toxins, there are sirens and flashing lights but I pay no attention. I can't. Not when the people I love have just sunk in front of my eyes. I had him. I held him in my arms and he still let me go because that's who he was. Caleb was a selfless man who would risk his life at the chance of saving someone else, that's why I loved him. I'd known him for years. He was my person.
My eyes began to shut and I made no efforts to keep them open what was the point, when I open them I'll still be alone.

~
1 week later:
I arrive at the doors of the large building with a lump in my throat and a weight on my shoulders. I was about to walk into a room filled with people from the deep water horizon, many had survived the incident, made it home to their families. But many didn't. It was like walking in to a room filled with strangers, people shook my hand and apologised and I did the same even-though non of us knew it was true. There was nothing to apologise for; we lost people but it was no one's fault.

Faces were smiling as they saw their friends after a week or radio silence. I found out that it wasn't just me who was left in the dark so many other people had been waiting by the phone for a call but until yesterday no one got one.

I took a seat on a small chair near the back of the room. Seeing everyone be reunited hit hard but I knew it was selfish to sulk, so I put on a smile and watched children scream for their mommy's and daddy's, hugging them so tight.

"Damn, never knew a reunion would be so depressing."

...

No. It can't be. It was like a ghost had spoken into my ear. My skin froze and my hair stood on end. It sounded just like him. But it couldn't be. Right? I turned my head and there standing clear as day was Caleb.

"Oh my god." Tears rolled down my cheeks as I jumped up faster than light into the man's arms, he was so warm and tight but it felt so so right to be here. I thought he was.. he was. No I can't even think about that now. "H..how, when did.. I didn't see you?"

"Shhh baby I know I know, I am so sorry I left you. I am so sorry I put you through that. But I got out like I said I would didn't I." He released me and held my face in his palms looking deep into my eyes. " I found a couple people trapped on the upper decks and we all got out, y/n all I thought about while I was in there was you and getting back to you. I couldn't- wouldn't leave you alone and I never will I promise you that." I could barely string together a thought as water continued to pour from my eyes and cries were stuck in my throat. For a week I thought he was dead, for a week I sat and stared right where he stood in my apartment so many times, for a week I cried and mourned.

I couldn't talk to I just grabbed him and hugged him tighter refusing to let him go. I still wasn't sure whether this was some kind of fever dream but pray it never ends. "God Caleb I love you, I love you so much. Never never do that to me.. please I can't do it again. Never leave.. I-"

"Hey hey I promised didn't I? That I'd make it back I promised I wouldn't leave you." I nod "exactly so stop crying, I'm here y/n. I'm here for good. Because I love you I always have since the day I met you."

After that I kissed him. I didn't speak neither did he we didn't need to, everything we needed to say was in that kiss.

I love you. Our lips moved together as if they were perfectly matched in one another, his arms snaked round my waist and held me so close to him I could feel his heart beat through our clothes.

I missed you. His tongue was soft and delicate over mine, not fighting for dominance or power. More like I was equal with mine and they worked in harmony. He had only been this close once before but god it felt like we had been here a thousand times over, but I never got tired of it.

I need you. He groaned into my mouth as of he had been starved for days and I was his only source of nourishment, which in that moment I felt like it. If he needed it I would rip myself apart and let him use the parts as he needed, because if that's what he desired then I would happily give myself up for him.

I am yours.