Loverboy

"I guess I had a change of heart."

Olivia didn't allow herself to be concerned with Sirius's running about with the Parkinson girl. She was a very pretty Pureblood girl, and Ollie knew that Sirius had met her before. He never showed any interest, though; she and his cousin Andromeda were the only people he could tolerate talking to at family gatherings. His cousin Bella used to be nice but her descent into madness changed everything. Cissy's marriage to a young man named Lucius made her just as insufferable as her oldest sister.

Ollie only knew every detail of Sirius's annoying blood-supremacist family affairs because he told her all of this. Andromeda had a really cool boyfriend, but since he was Muggle-born, she wasn't invited to parties anymore. She still owled him, though, and apparently they were going to get married and "if he so pleased, he could bring himself and his devious mates." The marriage was going to be over the summer, and all of Sirius's devious mates were planning to go.

Whenever Sirius came over to the sofa where Ollie sat reading, or offered a game of chess, or even approached her in the corridors, Olivia would politely decline his advances and move elsewhere. By "politely decline," what is meant is that she says, "Hi, Sirius. Bored of Parkinson already? Well, what a shame, I'm busy," and promptly striding away.

Her "polite declinations" were her avoiding him, her avoiding her problems.

Olivia hated Ava Parkinson.

No, she didn't.

She hated that Ava was prettier than her.

She hated that Ava was more like Sirius.

She hated that Ava had Sirius around her finger.

She hated that it was a sudden thing.

She hated that Sirius asked Ava on a proper date.

She hated that Ava was the girl that Sirius wanted.

She hated that she allowed herself to hate all this about her.

She hated that Ava was the girl who made Sirius happy.

She hated that Ava didn't expect this.

She hated that Sirius changed his mind overnight.

She hated that Ava was smarter than her.

She hated that Ava was more confident than her.

She hated that she was thinking about this.

Ollie stood up, casting her novel aside. It was no good anyway. It was about two people and their "forbidden love." All of Remus's books were like that. Full of cheesy romance cliches. But she knew he loved them, and she secretly liked them, too.

She walked over to the window, where she hoped she'd get an owl from Echo. Echo Huxley, Ollie's older sister, lived in the muggy London suburbs with her husband, Solaris Huxley. Echo was the one who got Ollie her textbooks over the summer. Echo was the one who gave Ollie her cherry blossom perfume. Echo was Ollie's closest confidant, after Remus and Marlene.

Ollie needed advice. She couldn't ask Remus, he would tell her to loosen up, to "just talk to him." She didn't want to bother Marlene or Lily over the holiday. She was a little too embarrassed to ask her mum.

She could imagine her mum reading it.

Dear Mum,

My friend Sirius has got a new girlfriend. They're only just sort of dating, and I'm incredibly jealous of her. What should I do? Also, happy Christmas.

Love, Olivia

Ollie shuddered. She couldn't go to her mother for this. Echo had been in this situation. Well, she hadn't, but she would know what to do. Ollie got a piece of parchment and the nearest quill, and began to write. She didn't realize it but she was pouring every emotion, every event, every thing from the past few weeks onto this paper.

Dear Echo,

Happy Christmas, Echo. I miss you so much and I hope you and Solaris are doing good. I need your help. James and I were supposed to hang out and Sirius was teasing me, and this led to that and I kissed him. I thought it would just be the once in the morning, and then we'd get over it, but then after we all talked it over, it happened again. Sirius and I were snogging on the couch and I'm scared that it might have gone farther if it weren't for Remus and his "Always have to check on my friends" thing he has. And then, the very next morning, at seven am, Sirius came down and announced that he was going to ask out Ava Parkinson. And then, I guess he did, because then they went on a date and he just can't stop talking about how perfect she is. I've taken to avoiding him, because I don't know how to handle it. I hate it when he's talking about how great she is, and I kind of wish I were her sometimes. Every time he says her name, I just get so angry, and I feel like bursting into tears. The other girls have left for the holiday, so I can cry in the dorms without worrying about anyone seeing. And every time I see Sirius, I get so happy, and it feels like I'm floating, and then I remember that he's with Ava, and he doesn't want me as more than a friend. Because that's all I am to him. His friend. What am I supposed to do about this? Why do I get so irritated every time I see her, or hear her, or hear about her? I hope your Christmas isn't so dismal as mine is set to be.

Much love, Ollie

Ollie put this letter in an envelope, addressed it, and began walking to the Owlery to send it.

Just as her luck would have it, Sirius was in the Owlery, alone, looking out upon the grounds. He looked so... hot. No. Ollie quickly and quietly got an owl, and tied the letter to its leg. She went to the window to send it off. She rested her arms on the windowsill like how Sirius was and the two stood there in silence.

"Echo?" Sirius said suddenly, breaking the silence.

Ollie nodded. Her words had died in her throat.

"What did you write her about?" Sirius asked, friendly.

"Just a happy Christmas," Ollie replied. "And asking for advice."

Sirius looked at the girl who had refused to say a word to him for the past six days. He asked, "Advice on what?"

Ollie turned around so her back was on the sill, and her hands were just supporting her. "On what to do," she said, leaning back, "when your best friend snogs you then starts dating another girl." Her long hair was down; she normally put it in a ponytail or braid, but today it was not tied back at all. The way she was leaning back allowed the long waves to blow about in the fierce wind.

It was hot. Sirius caught himself. It was hot, though; her gorgeous eyes -no, Sirius told himself- shut tightly, her soft lips - Sirius told himself to stop, but didn't obey - with their pink lip gloss, slightly parted, just sitting naturally as Olivia leaned back over the grounds, hundreds of feet above.

But, look at Sirius. His white button-up was half unbuttoned, and untucked over his black school pants. His hair was a little bit messy, and his grey eyes looked at his best friend warmly. If what Ollie was doing was hot, it was nothing to Sirius at that exact moment.

"I guess I had a change of heart," Sirius replied, looking warmly at Olivia.

She sat back up. "I can tell as much," she said coldly. She pushed herself off the sill, to leave the Owlery.

Sirius watched her go. The sight of her back turned after what wasn't an argument, but not a nice conversation, left a feeling not dissimilar to a bunch of knives stuck in his chest and stomach.

He wished she wasn't upset with him. He also wished he knew why she was so pissed.

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angst ,_,

1301 words