The Reluctant Assistant - Book One

Confession Part 37

"Okay Jackson, talk." Raymond sat across from Jackson at a small coffee shop. Of course he would pick this place, Raymond thought. It had windows everywhere, with bright lights. 

"Whatever you thought happened, didn't." he started.

"So you didn't do all of that to make me stay?" Raymond interrupted, intending to push until he got the truth from Jackson, not some made up fairytale.

"Of course I wanted you to stay and work with me at the start, but that's not why I started dating you or wanted to move in with you. I did those things because I realized that the very first time I went looking for you, I fell in love with you." Raymond just snorted at this, his eyes giving nothing away.

"Cook, you know me. I'd never try and bullshit you." He chuckled to himself. "I've learnt my lesson the hard way, remember?" When he saw that Raymond's face was still as unreadable as ever, not even cracking a smile at the memory, he continued. "What my mother said was stupid. I'm really sorry for that, but that's not me, Cook. That's not the way I think."

"Why should I believe you?" Raymond's gaze didn't waver.

"Because I love you Cook. I've never been happier than when I'm with you. Your heart is my home. Won't you come home, Cook?" Jackson couldn't find enough words to convey what he was feeling and meaning. He was holding his breath, hoping that Raymond would come back to him.

"And this is not to get me back to the company?" he asked, still not sure of whether he should believe what Jackson is saying. He really wanted to believe him, though. If he was honest with himself, he missed Jackson a lot and it was only the thought that they considered him the help that kept him away. But if what Jackson was saying is the truth, then what does he do? 

 "No my love. You are happy where you are, I'd never ask you to come back, unless it is what you wanted." he said quietly leaning toward Raymond. "All I want is for you to forgive my stupidity in not standing up to my mother. I want you to come back to me, to our home." Raymond could see the anguish on his face, the fear and also loneliness.

"And what about your mother? She can still make my life miserable. One word from her and I'd lose everything." Raymond didn't really worry about her, he could handle her any time of the day, now that he owed them nothing, he could play their own game, only better.

"My mother will never have control over our lives, Cook. I'd give up everything I have, just to be with you. You have to believe me, I'd rather have you as my family than some bigoted bitch who doesn't care about her own son's happiness. I'd never allow someone who'd hurt the most important person to me, to be part of our lives." He reached over the table, his palm up, inviting Raymond to take it.

"Cook, I can't promise you a fairytale, I won't even promise to be your knight in shining armor. What I do promise, is that I'll be by your side, I will love you and no matter what, I'll always be yours." he continued when Raymond didn't take his hand. He also didn't remove it from the table, still hoping that Raymond would at least give some way.

"Will you really give up everything for me?" Raymond raised a brow. He couldn't imagine Jackson doing that.

"I'd give up everything, just to have you back, my love. Everything, because you are the most precious thing to me!" 

"And what if I don't love you?" The cage that Raymond had built around his heart, was already crumbling. Damn that soft spot that he's always had for Jackson. But, he still had to push forward.

"I can't force you to love me." he sighed. "I can only ask for time, so that you can learn to love me again. I don't believe that you'd move in with me on a whim, if you didn't feel something, Cook. This much I know about you." He smiled sadly at Raymond.

Raymond nodded and looking at Jackson's had that was on the table, he reached over to take it. "Thank you Jackson. It all makes sense now." Removing his hand, he got up.

Jackson jumped up as well, confused. "Are you leaving, already?" he couldn't make sense of this situation. He'd just laid all his cards on the table and it didn't seem to make any difference. "Can I take you home?" he wanted to prolong his time with Raymond as much as possible, not knowing when he'll see him again.

"No, that's fine, thanks." Raymond smiled at him, walking toward the door. 

"Can we maybe go for a walk then?" Jackson wouldn't let go so easily. He watched as a frown appeared on Raymond's face, before he nodded.

With a sigh, Jackson stepped onto the pavement with him, walking past brightly lit shops and restaurants. It was a quiet evening, the night sky clear and full of possibilities. They'd been walking for a while in silence, when Raymond stopped to look at a toy store. Jackson followed behind him, and as Raymond turned away from the window display, he lost his balance, but before he could fall, Jackson grabbed him around the waist, holding him steady.

They were face-to-face, as close to each other as they have ever been. Raymond could feel the static electricity between the two of them. He was looking up into Jackson's dark eyes, his hand itching to reach up and tough his face. They stood there looking at each other for a moment, when Jackson slowly inclined his head and leaned in to Raymond, making his intention clear...