Sad Girl

fourteen - the atlantic cave tradition

A/N: All the cities/places in this story are fake, just saying. I made them up. Reminder: they live in Florida.

Song of the Chapter: Nobody Asked Me (If I Was Okay) - Sky Ferreira

**

CAMRYN's POV

Being back from winter break finally and walking through the crowded halls of Ridgeway High, I would say nervousness is an understatement.

I had to see JC here, and that really sucked because I had been avoiding his calls and desperate texts since the day of his birthday/New Years party.

I hadn't talked to Swathi either. If you haven't noticed, I don't like talking to people when I've been through awkward situations with them.

That meant no talking to Caroline or Sam either, although the talk I had with them about JC wasn't awkward, it just made me mad.

I didn't really talk to anyone over break. All I did was sleep, listen to music, and watch all the seasons of Gossip Girl without interruptions.

If that doesn't show that I'm a depressed loser, than I don't know what does.

I walked past Curtis and his wolfpack of extremely loud teenage boys. It wasn't a surprise to me when I caught him eyeing me up and down. I pretended like I didn't notice and continued walking, trying to get to my locker through heaps of people.

Speaking of my locker, JC's was beside mine, and more than anything, I knew I had to avoid him.

The only problem was, I didn't want to avoid him. I wasn't mad at him or anything, I was just really awkward. I wasn't mad at Swathi either.

I was in the middle of an anxiety attack when I found them. If I wasn't wheezing and having chest pains at that moment, I would've just apologized and left immediately when I saw them with their tongues down each other's throats.

But in that situation, I couldn't talk, which made it look like I was speechless because I was mad.

They probably thought they were sure that I was mad, due to my lack of responding to their texts and calls.

I just wanted to stay in my bed and not have to think about or do anything.

Once I found my locker, I thanked Heaven above that JC wasn't here yet. He was probably talking to his friends (Bryce) like he did every morning. It was something I probably wasn't going to do for the rest of the day.

Speaking of friends, since I didn't talk to Sam or Caroline, I didn't get a ride from them. I rode to school with my sister and the whole drive over here, my mind was filled with thoughts of everything that had happened over break.

Then, I wondered about Evan. How come Evan didn't ask me about that anxiety attack I had when I was with him at JC's party? Then I remember revealing my cuts to him and he paid no attention to them. Why?

It's not that I wanted him to, I just expected him to say something. But he didn't.

Although that made me feel relieved, it was really weird at the same time.

What if he understood how I felt and didn't want to mess with me and make it awkward? Or what if he really didn't give a crap and just wanted me to give him head as soon as possible?

I shook my head at the second thought. Of course he cared. But why he didn't show that he cared was a whole different question.

I opened my locker, trying to be as fast as I could when sticking my backpack inside and getting the things I needed for first period. Some people liked carrying their bags to every class, but I thought that carrying my books in my hands was fine.