Sad Girl

twelve - touché

Song of the Chapter - Don't - Ed Sheeran

***

CAMRYN's POV

JC's party was a damn mess and we were only thirty minutes into it.

Well, at least it was a mess to me. I never went to his parties or anyone's parties to be honest, and I really wasn't used to seeing people all up on each other like they were right now.

JC's cousin Sean was on top of the dining table, filling his mouth and some blonde girl's mouth with whipped cream. He was the craziest person I had ever seen.

I stood in the corner of the living room while a couple made out on the couch and other people danced to the overplayed and terribly auto tuned music. I held a cup of water in my hand.

Out of nowhere, Bryce appeared next to me with a bottle of beer in his hand. I could've smelt it from miles and miles away. I rolled my eyes.

"Hey," he greeted, flashing a grin at me.

"Hey," I replied, with less enthusiasm. Lately, I hadn't said much to him. I wanted to avoid the awkwardness and I didn't want to be reminded of what happened at the mall on Black Friday.

He took a swig of his beer. "Awesome party, huh?" He had to raise his voice, due to the loud music.

"Not really," I replied just as loud, staring at a group of kids passing a blunt around like they were playing hot potato.

"Of course you'd say that," he told me.

I gave him a strange look. For some reason, I was offended. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's not really a bad thing," he explained, shrugging. "You just don't seem like the partying type."

"Bryce, you've known me long enough to realize I'm definitely not," I said.

He didn't say anything after that. We both stood there in silence, watching the party in action.

I wasn't going to lie, I felt uncomfortable. I wondered if he felt the same way or if he was used to this. I had seen him kissing girls all the time. Although that was true, I was actually his friend. Those other girls weren't.

Maybe he thinks this is weird too. What do I say to make it less awkward?

I had no idea. I just begged that he'd walk away or find someone more interesting to talk to.

But he didn't. Instead, he stared at me and he wouldn't stop.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," I replied right away. That answer always came naturally when someone asked me that. It was so much easier than telling people how I really felt.

"You've been acting weird around me," he said.

I didn't say anything.

"Ever since I kissed you, you've been awkward around me. You give me one word answers and you never go out of your way to talk to me," he continued.

"I never go out of my way to talk to anyone," I replied.

"Yeah, that's why I try and start conversations with you and all you do is listen then say like two words and I'm forced to walk away, wondering what the fuck I did wrong."

"Don't be pissed," I said.

"I'm not pissed... I'm... I'm confused," he complained. "You confuse me, Camryn."

"Well I confuse myself, too," I hissed. Saying that reminded me of the self-inflicted scars I had created every night since Christmas. Every time I did it, I regretted it, but I never thought about stopping. Why? I don't know. It was confusing.