Sad Girl

thirty eight - I'm not drunk.

A/N: omg it's been two months but I'm back on track (hopefully) and I'm so sorry for the wait!!! but this chapter will make up for it!! *wink wink*

Song of the Chapter: Shameless - The Weeknd

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CAMRYN's POV

I always ask myself why I let myself get involved in stupid situations.

I push past the people that are crowding my pathway to the kitchen of a house I've never been to before. It's Aaron's house, Courtney's boyfriend, and I've never seen such a variety of kids from my school at one party.

Well, I guess it's because I don't go to parties very often.

I mutter 'excuse me' to the careless people chatting away with their friends with red cups in their hands. It's not like they can hear me, but I guess I excuse myself on instinct.

I finally make it to the kitchen, and I spot Sam, the one person I was looking for. I felt like I hadn't seen her in forever, and the sight of her leaning on Tyler while his arm is drooped around her makes me feel relieved.

She's okay. That's good.

I walk towards her, and Tyler catches my eye. He watches me, then whispers something to Sam. She turns her head, and now, she's looking at me too.

I have to squeeze by a junior from my Spanish class and her loud, aggressive friends to finally be face to face with Sam.

Tyler, gives me a nod, and I smile back at him. Then, he takes off as if he believes I don't want him there. I mean, I don't mind him, but something about him has always made me feel on edge since Sam and him started dating.

"Hey," I greet Sam. She sits up straight, leaning against the wall beside a picture collage on Aaron's wall. She gives me a seemingly forced smile. "We haven't spoken in a while."

Sam shrugs. "Yeah, I guess." She stares past me and I'm not sure what's more interesting than talking to me. There's probably a lot of things, but I'm still offended. "You cut your hair." She begins tugging at the bottom of my hair. I push her away calmly.

"You guess?" I retort, ignoring her comment about my hair. I try to limit the volume in my voice, but there's music blaring from wherever and it's making myself harder to be heard. "What's up with you? Did I do something?"

"No, you didn't," she responds, furrowing her eyebrows. She's looking at me, but her mind is clearly somewhere else. This isn't the Sam I know. "You look great. I'm so glad you came."

Well I'm certainly not. "I only came because you told me you'd talk to me. I feel so... not close to you anymore."

"I know," she says. I hate how she's not putting effort into her replies. "Hey, look. They're playing beer pong. You wanna go or what?" It's the first time I've seen her face light up in a long time.

I don't reply. I feel like she's just punched me in the stomach. I don't want to play beer pong. I want to have my best friend back.

But Sam doesn't wait for me to respond. She walks past me, probably heading towards the beer pong games.

I sigh. This is going to be the last time I'll feel alone surrounded by a mass of people, I remind myself. Just get through with this and then another week, and everything will be okay.