Sad Girl

twenty five - the boys

Song of the Chapter: Tightrope - Walk the Moon

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CAMRYN's POV

I've never really thought about it, but now that I am, I'm realizing that sitting in the backseat of Nolan's car was the last thing that I'd see myself doing before I die. But I was doing it, and I didn't know why.

My mind was running a marathon right now. I couldn't think straight. All I knew was that Swathi and Nolan were engaged in a conversation and I was just awkwardly sitting in the backseat of his car being completely mute.

I didn't even know what they were talking about. I think it was something about how he got away with the fighting thing because it was JC's first warning or whatever.

What I did know for sure was that we were on our way to the majority of our school students' favorite diner. I had never been there before. It wasn't really my thing to sit down and eat with people.

If I did eat at restaurants, they'd be more... high class. Not that I'd prefer fancier restaurants, my family did, though.

"So what's the big deal about this place?" I heard Swathi ask from the passenger seat. Nolan pulled up in the diner parking lot and parked perfectly in an open slot.

"Not sure. It's just a thing, you know?" Nolan replied.

No. I don't know.

"Well, is the food good? I'm so hungry," Swathi claimed, unbuckling her seatbelt.

I followed her actions and unbuckled mine, waiting for her to get out of the car. Although I didn't like Nolan, I wouldn't want to just storm out of his car. I was going to be nice. I was always nice, even to the people that treat me like shit. Nolan.

"Yeah, they have awesome burgers," Nolan replied.

Swathi smiled and licked her lips. Hmm, I didn't really expect her to eat burgers. I mean, it's not a bad thing, but I'd expect her diet to be more like Caroline: salad, water, & celery.

I wasn't sure if I'd rather eat burgers or eat food like Caroline. They both sounded awful. I'd rather starve.

Swathi opened her car door, then Nolan, and they both climbed out. I then realized I had to get out too, and not just daydream here in a random guy's car.

I opened the door with my trembling hands, realizing Nolan was standing there watching me and Swathi was already skipping away to the entrance of the small building.

My stomach clenched. He was watching me. I hated when people watch me.

I looked up at him momentarily, and he looked away, pretending he never even saw me. Obviously he did. I just crawled out of his car and he needed to lock it but without me getting out, he couldn't.

Self-consciousness would be an understatement. I hadn't talked to him for years and he had bullied me in middle school. Why would I want to talk to him? I didn't even ask for a ride here, he just... appeared with Swathi in the passenger seat.

I shut the door rather anxiously, stepping past him and making my way over to the entrance, watching Swathi eagerly pull open the doors.

I felt kind of bad. I had just walked past Nolan like he hadn't even given me a ride. Why do I say I'm nice? I'm a total bitch.

I should've said something. I should've told him 'thanks', but no. I didn't. I just walked past him like nothing happened. I could've been the bigger person! I could've let him know that I wasn't mad (because I really wasn't) and I could've showed him that I was over it and I was okay!