Sad Girl

thirty - the f-word

Song of the Chapter: Pity Party - Melanie Martinez

***

CAMRYN's POV

"What do you mean you're not coming?" Jackie whines. She has her phone pressed to her ear and she's pacing back and forth on Julia's carpeted floor.

Julia and I are sitting on her bed, watching Jackie speak to Swathi on the phone. Jackie sounds frustrated.

"Well you said, two days ago, that you'd be here. Look, Caroline and Sam are already not coming, and now you too?"

Julia looks at me. I know she's giving me a sympathetic look, but I don't look at her. I pretend that it isn't a big deal, that everything is fine, because honestly, I don't really care that my friends aren't coming over that much.

But I still feel like my friends that aren't here are betraying me.

"One of our friends needs your support and you bail at the last minute for a boy. To make things worse, it's Logan you're hanging out with." Jackie sits down on Julia's couch, which is set in between the wall and Julia's TV. "...You promise you will? ...Okay... bye."

Once Jackie is off the phone, she rolls her eyes.

"So I'm guessing Swathi isn't coming either?" Julia asks, as if the answer isn't completely obvious.

I just sigh. At first, I only wanted to hang out with Jackie, but she was making it a group thing. And now, no one is here except for her and Julia. I guess it was okay, because I could trust two people more than I can trust five people.

Jackie shakes her head, then looks at me. "I'm really sorry, Cam."

"Yeah, me too," Julia says. "Funny how Sam and Caroline are ditching us for boys, too."

When Sam said she couldn't come, it was because she was hanging with Tyler. And Caroline? Apparently she had a date. She wouldn't tell us who it was with, though.

I force a smile. "It's okay. You guys are here for me. That's all that matters." Even though that was true, I still looked down, away from their eyes so they wouldn't see how upset I actually was.

From the corner of my eye, I see Jackie shift on the chair and then get up. Then, there are arms around me. Two pairs of them, and they won't let go.

I want to say something, but at the same time, I just want to sit here, collapsed in Julia's and Jackie's arms, and just cry. I do neither. I just sit there and hug them back. Julia's head is on my shoulder and her arms are around my torso while Jackie's head is on my lap and her arms are around my waist.

They really do feel bad for me.

"Thank you guys," I tell them.

"Anything for you," Jackie replies. "God, I would kill to punch Evan in the face for treating you like that."

"I'd kick him in the balls," Julia added.

I laughed. They actually made me laugh. And they're actually making me feel a little better. We're hugging. They're actually showing they care.

We finally pull away from each other and they're looking at me, smiling while I finish laughing. Then it's quiet, and Jackie and Julia are sharing a look with each other, one that I haven't seen before.

What are they thinking? They could see on my face that I was confused, and I needed to know what was happening, but they just giggled.

Why are they giggling?