Letters to the Hybrid

Chapter 4

Dear Soulmate,

God damn I'm losing my mind right now. I haven't talked to anyone in three days.

Angsty and dramatic middle school me would be in heaven right now. Older and more social me is dying inside. Again, I love my me-time. It's a must. But seriously, I can't go this long without talking to someone.

I've thrown all fucks out of  the nonexistent windows. I've been talking to myself for the past few hours. Hell, I've made up a new Just Dance dance to a bunch of sad songs. All the videos that live in my head rent free have used up their free three month trial run. I'm charging rent now.

I'm so fucking bored.

I'm losing my mind right now so expect a bunch of letters from this day. Actually, don't because I'm running out of surface level stuff to talk about. How about we just dive into my scarring middle school friendships and my horror stories from high school?

Kidding.

I might actually start crying right now so I'm going to write down my self help session until either my hand starts to hurt or I run out of space. I'm going to be my own therapist for a minute. Oh this should be good.

I think I might just address this letter to me instead. I don't think I want you to read it anymore.

It all started when- yeah no I can't do this.

I need someone to talk to. I need some reaction, I need someone who is there to ask me what the fuck I was thinking so I can defend my naïve 12 year old self. I need someone to cringe with me at what I did, I need someone to be disgusted with me so together we can trash someone I hate and they have never met. I need someone to celebrate with after I tell them the day I hit my breaking point, finally stopped being friends with the toxic person, and survived their guilt tripping to keep me being their friend.

Damn, that actually felt really good.

It feels even better because I know where he live so we can go and key his car when I get rescued. Gosh, I'm just spilling out romantic date ideas.

You might be wondering, "Clove, why the hell are you thinking so violently?"

Listen, my revengeful ass and wild imagination has been left unsupervised with a notebook to write down all my crazy ideas. To top it all off, my soulmate is a thousand year old hybrid who happens to have the power of compulsion. That means I can fix my problems with my solutions without going to jail.

Looks like we might be paying Sloane's toxic ex girlfriend a visit. Speaking of Sloane, I'm probably going to write her a letter soon. I miss talking to her and maybe a letter will help me feel like I can.

Now back to what I was saying. Violent date ideas aren't the only things I've been thinking of. I have an entire page of all the torture methods I've found in weird corners of the internet. No joke, it's in the back of my notebook.

Sure hope Katherine doesn't find it and try and use it on me. I would love to use some on her though.

Anyway, I should probably mention some of the date ideas that I've thought of so far. Some of them are violent, some are cliche, and some are a little weird. Don't judge me, otherwise this whole soulmate thing is going to be a little rough.

First off, I was thinking something traditional. We can go out to dinner, maybe ice cream afterwards. Another date idea is obviously vandalizing property of the people I hate, that's always a good bonding experience. We can also go and torment people in a public place. I'll look up some weird things to do on the internet and we can make a day of bothering people at a park. We can do things like shoot water guns at strangers and run away or pretend to be secret agents and follow people around.

In all seriousness, one thing I do want to do with someone is go on a picnic date. We can pick a pretty spot, pack some food, and go around sunset. Then when the sun sets, we can lay on the blanket and look at the stars. If neither of us knows any constellations (big bonus points if you know the constellations), then we can just look for the brightest star in the sky or the Big Dipper.

So yeah, those are some of the date ideas I've thought of.

Anyway, another thing you might be wondering, "Clove, how the hell are you so chill when you mentioned your soulmate is a thousand years old?"

Listen here, I've known about the vampire transitioning process since my parents sat down and tried to have "the talk" with me about the birds and the bees. I don't even know how they linked the two together because most of that conversation is blocked in my memory.

I don't ever need to remember that conversation or I'll probably be so traumatized my future kids will be traumatized. Oh wait, you're a vampire so we probably can't have kids. Don't worry about it though because I really don't like the idea of pushing out an oversized bean. I never really planned for kids in my future, I guess I always thought I'd be the cool, rich, wine aunt.

Don't know how I'm ever gonna be the rich aunt because my bank account is crying right now. If I want to cry but I can't, all I need to do is check my bank. Or lack of.

I think being broke is one of my personality traits at this point.

Hope you want me for me. But it's all going to be okay because money doesn't buy happiness. Still doesn't mean I shouldn't celebrate when I find twenty bucks laying on the floor. It happens to me more often than you'd think. My parents joke about me being a leprechaun, which is weird because I'm not Irish and I'm not short. 5'5 is not short, but I think I round up to 5'6 at this point, so we are going to go with me being 5'10 because 6 rounds up to 10. So I'm not short.

I wonder if my parents are worried about me. Probably are, I mean, who else is my mom going to force to do her errands when she doesn't want to do them? Not the dog.

I mean, this whole kidnapping thing has been pretty boring so far. Wish I could tell her all I got was a bombshell and kidnapper neglect so she doesn't need to worry too much. Watch me just completely jinx my luck. I mean, I'm really, really grateful Katherine's not coming and beating me black and blue every few hours because she can.

I guess when you're leverage, you might be precious cargo. Who am I kidding, I am precious. Just kidding. I just used the word "precious" and "kidding" like three times now.

Bet you went back to count how many times I actually used it.

Anyway, I guess now would be a good time to inform you of all the doodles I have done thus far. There is a little rainbow in the top left corner, there's a sun and moon in the other corner, there is a bunch of squiggly lines in cool patterns at the bottom of this page too, so I guess I might need to end this letter soon.

At least I'm keeping my handwriting nice and small. Speaking of handwriting, I have a special gift when it comes to handwriting. Not the writing part because I have literal chicken scratch. I have the ability to read any and all handwriting. You could have the shittiest penmanship on the planet and there's like a 95 percent chance I'll be able to read your writing. I can also read fancy cursive really well, so I have that going for me.

No evil calligraphy wizard is going to get me to sell my soul.

Not today satan.

Sincerely,

Clove

P.S.- one of the green flags I find is when someone has good handwriting. Not fancy cursive because that's sketchy and not literal shit where I'm straining to use my gift. Just nice, clean handwriting. That's always a plus in my book.