𝖌𝖔𝖑𝖉𝖊𝖓 𝖘𝖊𝖈𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖘 - 𝐄𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐓𝐨𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐨

𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫 ｢ dıfferent feelıng 」

Let me photograph you in this light

                                        In case it is the last time

                            That we might be exactly like we were

Before we realized

When we were young – Adele

***

The sleep won't come. Every time I close my eyes I see Ethan in front of me, in the lacquer underpants, touching my body. And I have no idea why. His muscular body was making me bite on my lip. Where the actual fuck did this come from, this feeling, this picture in my head. My eyes went to my clock, which said it was 2 pm, and I still didn't hear the others coming home. I knew, Damiano and Giorgia were here, probably making love.

Someone knocked on my door, and I wake up from my almost sleep. "What!?", I yelled annoyed, and a drunk Thomas Raggi stepped into my room. "I saw a dinosaur, and he was purple", too drunk he walked in a not-so-straight line towards my bed, letting himself fall. I sigh, and scream hard in my pillow. "Go away Thomas". Also a drunk Ethan stepped in, "hello gorgeous", it makes me chuckle, I gasp from my own reaction, why did I liked that?

A drunk Ethan and a drunk Thomas are working on my nerves, "get the fuck out of my room", I throw a bra which was laying on the ground lands on Ethan his head, he laughs, throwing it back. The knot in my stomach comes back, I've never looked at Ethan like this. Damiano runs in, "Vic puked, and I'm taking these two to the pool, to make them themselves again". I laugh and wait in front of my window until Damiano walks towards the pool with the two drunk boys.

As soon as I can I grab my phone, our fans will love this. I record from the moment Damiano pushes them both with their clothes in the pool, my phone shakes, it's so funny to see, holding my laugh is hard. I open instagram and make a story with this video with the tekst 'swimming lessons from the one and only @/ykaaar'.

E T H A N:

My head is pounding and my legs hurt. I can't remember much of last night, I believe I was pretty drunk. I open my phone and see a story from the band account, Davina uploaded something. Chuckling I watch the video of Thomas and I being pushed in the pool by our best friend, and I hear Davina her laugh on the background.

Since yesterday, since we shot that scene I feel a knot in my stomach, and I absolutely have no idea what it is. Davina is my best friends and we kissed a lot more for photoshoots, videoclips, and other stuff. According to my alarm clock it's 9:39 AM, so time to get out of bed, my legs won't move. "Ethan, are you coming downstairs?", Davina knocks on my door, before coming in.

She smiles, very cute. "We have rehearsels, so hurry", she turn on all the light and I hide my face under my pillow. Normally she would jump on me, until I woke up. I realize she is gone, what was that? It takes a few minutes to process what just happened, maybe she also feels what I do. My legs move me out of my bed, walking like a zombie downstairs.

Thomas, Victoria, Giorgia and Damiano are busy with their own lives. Read the newspaper, irritate each other and eat yesterday's nachos. "Are we going to rehearse today?", I pull the tub of cold nachos out of Giorgia's hands and start to eat the chips. "Yea, take it easy man, because of you I only fell asleep at 3 o'clock", Damiano yawns, a little too exaggerated and receives a kiss on his cheek from Giorgia.

I flop down on the couch, irritated, "yes, sorry man, don't be annoyed". I know, it seems like we hate each other now but it always is when we went out the night before. "Where is Davina?", Victoria asks after looking around the room, not finding her.

As soon as Victoria mentions Davina her name, the knot in my stomach returns. I ignore it, annoyed by not knowing what it means. Thomas opens the door towards the hall, screaming upstairs, "Davina, we want to start, come down". Less than a minute later, Davina walks in.

"Why aren't you in the studio yet", she walks in a straight line to the studio and opens the door, gesturing for us to go inside. I hear everyone sigh, today we are a little low in our energy. But nothing could be further from the truth, because as soon as the door closes and we are all inside, the energy comes back. "Shall we do la paura del buio?", Damiano searches for the lyrics. "Yea sure", I raise my dumb from behind my Ludwig drum set.

The whole time we were rehearsing, I looked at Davina, hoping she wouldn't look at me. Her fingers were moving smooth over the strings of her white creme color electric guitar. The feeling I have in my stomach only got worse. I have no idea what the feeling is, but I know it is something with Davina, I mean I only get the knot in my stomach when I think about her, or when I see her.

"Ethan! Focus!", Thomas snapped at me. I cleared my head and focus on my drum set. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry". Thomas chuckled and we start over again.

"E quindi prendimi, mordimi, toglimi tutto

Continuerò a non avere la paura del buio"

My hair covered my eyes, but I didn't mind. I can find my drums without the need to look at it. I am in love with this song, it sounds so good

"Ed anche quando sarò giù per terra distrutto

Continuerò a non avere la paura del buio"

My eyes went of to Davina again, her eyes were closed and she clearly is enjoying the music we are making at this moment.

"E quindi sputami, strappami i vestititi di dosso

Continuerò a non avere la paura del buio"

I have no idea what is going on with me. Yesterday I kissed and touched my best friend just for a videoclip, and since then I've been feeling something. I have to find it out, but I know, it's not just nausea.  

-

isn't he just the cutest and most amazing guy in the world?