𝖌𝖔𝖑𝖉𝖊𝖓 𝖘𝖊𝖈𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖘 - 𝐄𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐓𝐨𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐨

𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞 ｢ "I'м ѕorry" 」

"And if the sun starts setting, the sky goes cold

                      Then if the clouds get heavy and start to fall

                          I really need somebody to call my own

I wanna be somebody to someone"

Someone to you – BANNERS

***

D A V I N A:

After we rehearsed, I immediately fled to my room. Now I sit on my bed, thinking about the feeling in my stomach. I noticed that Ethan was watching me in the studio the whole time. I ignored him as best I could. This morning Victoria told me to go and wake him, and so I did. But I avoided eye contact and I was gone as soon as I could. Maybe he thought that was weird so he looked at me.

My heart is racing, of nerves, or something else. These last two days are weird, and full of feeling I don't know or recognize. I try to distract myself by playing a little part of 'vent'anni' on my acoustic light brown guitar, which is always standing next to my bed, in case I need distraction from anything.

A fist knocks on my door, "who?". A familiar voice starts speaking, "me Ethan, can I talk to you". My heart skipped a beat and he came in, a little uncomfortable. "Yea sure", I smiled at him, making him less nervous. "Davina", the way he mentioned my name. I'm shocked by the feeling I feel. Fuck. I recognize the feeling, I had it once before. For a guy in my middle school named Mauro, and I was crazy in love with him. Panicking in my head, I ask myself a thousand times, do you really want to fall for the guy you work with, your best friend? No is my answer, but what can I help it.

"Yesterday", he continues talking, looking at my hands, which are shaking. I saw he felt the same way, how is this possible after eighteen years of friendship. I take his one hand, making him choke in his own spit. "I... uhm-", the words don't come out of his mouth, it makes me giggle. I squeeze in his warm hands, again, hoping that he will say something to me.

E T H A N:

My hands are shaking, Davina is holding them. I noticed that I feel more for her than just friends, and I hate it. But she has the right to know the truth, since I know she feels the same way about me. "Ethan", she says my name and I look deep in her eyes, like I never did. Words normally always come, but this moment, my head is empty, lack of words, lack of knowledge how to act to someone who has been you best friend for eighteen years and you suddenly fall in love with that someone.

"You... I....", I hate myself, why can't I speak. It makes her chuckle again, making me blush. "What", she squeezes in my hand, trying to act natural. But in her eyes I can see she is panicking, panicking about me, I think. One moment a really bad idea flashed through my head, to let her know I feel something. But what will happen when I do, what will she do, what will our band say. For me this is the only way to let her now, since I'm not able to speak.

I raise my head, as slowly as possible. Her eyes are straight looking in mine, and we both don't move, avoiding the move we both want right now. "I'm sorry", In one hell of a move I lean in and press a warm kiss on her lips, giving us the best feeling ever. Her lips kiss me back, soft but intense. Our heart are beating, loader than ever. My hand rests on her leg while she squeezes in my other one.

She stops the kiss, and looked in my eyes, and I saw she was about to cry. "Ethan, w-we can't", her face turned to the ground, looking at her feet. She is right, we can't. But deep, deep inside we both wanted this, and I knew it. "I know", I swallow, while she lets go of my hand. I felt tears gathering in my eyes, "I'm sorry". I got up and walked away, hoping she would stop me, which she did, at the moment I was about to open the door. "Don't be", we smile at each other.

Back in my room I let myself fall on my bed. A hundred different thoughts run through my head. I kissed Davina, and now I know what the feeling was. The feeling runs over me again when I think back to her soft lips. How did this happened, how did we suddenly started to feel something for each other. It probably was because of the scene in 'for your love', but what if we weren't chosen to do that scene.

D A V I N A:

What just happened, I can't believe it. I want to cry, but the only feeling that is going through my body right now is joy and happiness. All the questions I had about the feeling I felt when I was around Ethan the last two day, disappeared, everything made sense by now. But it was wrong, I can't fall in love with my band member, with my best friend.

My phone buzzed and I opened it. It is Victoria, she texted me. I chuckle, because she is downstairs being probably too lazy to walk towards my room.

"WHERE ARE YOU !?!?!?!?!?!"

I chuckle, typical Victoria, writing in capital letters.

"just in my room, why?"

"come downstairs, Dami and Giorgia are making love and Thomas is out with Leo. And Ethan...... I have no idea AHAHA"

"Yea sure, I'll be down in a minute"

I close my phone and walk towards my mirror, I'm a bad liar, but I need to keep this a secret. My hair is messy and little tears cover my cheek. I fix everything, my hair, I wipe the tears away. And dress into my pajama, running down the stairs, skipping the last three steps.  

-

Ethan fucking Torchio, just marry me right now