The Way Things Change

Chapter 11

*Kate’s POV*

My pain was going away, so I didn’t need that many painkillers anymore. I still wasn’t hungry, but they really tried to get me to eat, well anything really, even if it was just one mouthful. That seemed to make them really happy.

The week still passed in a blur and I still felt numb and emotionless. But I started to care again. I cared when Zayn told me he had gotten a girlfriend. He looked so happy and he hugged me. When he let go I gave him a smile. It didn’t reach my eyes though and the hug had felt quite awkward. I wasn’t used to that kind of embrace anymore. I was really happy for him, he deserved this. And when he saw my smile he only got happier.

I was told that the doctor would be there on Friday, so he could have a look at me. AND this week was the week that Harry also started visiting me. I hadn’t realised he was missing before, but one day he just walked in. I could see his wasn’t comfortable and he didn’t speak much, but then again, neither did I. He was probably not going to be one of my best friends. EVER.

One of the days Liam came jumping into my room. He was really exited about something and it took him a while to calm down to he could tell me about what. His girlfriend was coming home a week early and she was also going to visit. You could really see that Liam cared for her and I was glad to see him this happy.

I stayed in my dark room, not talking to anybody and before I knew it, it was Friday. Niall came to wake me up with breakfast on bed. He was trying to make an effort, but I still wasn’t hungry. Even though it looked delicious I didn’t eat anything. I could see the disappointment in his eyes but he just said “Well, then there is more for me” trying to force a smile. I really wanted him to look happy, but I just couldn’t do what he wanted me to.

I went to sit in my favourite spot on the windowsill. I could see the weather getting better. It was almost summer now. I could feel some sort of craving inside of me. I wanted to get outside. I would love to feel the wind on my face. I wanted to smell the nature. I wanted to feel the sun warming my skin. I wanted to run again. Before I knew it the doctor was standing next to me.

“Miss Statham? Are you ready?” He asked me. I nodded. Suddenly I felt nervous, but I didn’t know why.

He stared with the physical exam and when he was done with that, he looked pleased. “Everything is healing perfectly and in a week we can take the plaster of your arm.” I was happy to hear that. I really hated that plaster by now, it was only in the way.

“Now I need you to talk to me.” He said. I tensed slightly. I hadn’t talked to anybody in three weeks. How was I supposed to talk now? What if my voice was gone?

But the doctor just started asking me questions, simple questions. And it was actually quite easy to talk again. The doctor seemed pleased with himself and as we went along, the questions became harder for me to answer. It felt like a test. When he didn’t have any further questions he gave me a quick evaluation.

“Look” he shifted in his seat, leaning forward. “You have obviously been through a lot, but you can’t handle it on your own. You are trying to be strong, which can be really good, but right now it is only breaking you down. You need to let people help you. Everybody needs help sometimes. And what you are doing now is unhealthy. By not talking to the ones who are trying to help you, you are only going to push them away.”

I didn’t know how to respond to that, so I kept quiet. I had to process his words. I couldn’t cope with it just yet. So when the doctor left, I went to bed hoping that my subconscious would give me an answer while I was sleeping.

The doctor had also told me that my concussion probably was gone, due to the fact that I had kept myself in a dark room and I had slept as much as I had. I was glad that I now was able to go outside if I wanted to. I didn’t want to right now, but I could. But he warned me. If I felt the slightest headache it still wasn’t gone and then I needed to stay in the dark again.