The Way Things Change

Chapter 30

*Niall’s POV*

I swear, something has changed since our last show. That horrible one. There is some kind of tension in the house. I don’t know exactly what it is, I just feel it.

It’s got nothing to do with us lads. Well sure, we were pissed that everything went wrong and Harry felt like he let us down when his voice cracked on stage, but we got over that quickly. Anyways, it’s another sort of tension. And it’s got something to do with Kate. I should invite her with me to meet the family. Just so she doesn’t have to stay here all by herself. Again. And then maybe she will tell me what’s up.

These last two weeks she has not been as carefree as before. She is kind of stiff now. And I really don’t know what’s happened. Maybe she got scared of us after the show? I hope not. But when we were watching a movie the other day, she huddled up in the corner of the couch, as far away as possible. Normally she snuggles up to one of us, or lays her head in one of our laps. She really had become one of the lads. But a female lad. Well like a sister. She’s also been quieter. She always used to laugh really loud, now she just giggles. That’s cute, but I really miss her laugh. It’s contagious. And she has lost her big appetite. I admire her for that. She eats a lot for a girl, but I guess she needs to, to be able to function. She really is insane for working out that much! But she really has a killer body, so I guess its okay…?

I really should go ask her to come with me. My mom would love her and maybe she would be able to cheer her up. And I hope she’ll open up to me. And I know she’ll love Mullingar. I just do.

Yeah. I’m going to ask her.

***

*Harry’s POV*

Why am I so jealous? So what if Kate is going with Niall to meet his family. I know they have no love interest in each other. They are like brother and sister. And I certainly have no interest in her. But why these feelings then? God it’s annoying. I’m just glad to go home for the week. I’ve missed my mom. And Gemma. I barely see them anymore! And maybe I’ll have some time to spend with my old school friends. Kate would love them all, I just know it. What? Where did Kate suddenly come from?

I don’t have feelings for her alright! I really don’t. She just looks so hot. What did she say to Niall that night? Right, I’m just attracted to her, I don’t like her. But who wouldn’t be attracted to her. It’s really weird that she has no clue of how hot she is. Or the effect she has on men. Josh is totally into her and she doesn’t even see it. He’s been following her like a puppy. But the extra workout sessions have really paid off. He looks good. God he can be annoying sometimes. Maybe I should start working out more.

Then I would have some time together with Kate. NO! Not her again. Why does she have to be in my brain? I could literally have anybody I want, so why is she stuck in my head? Well maybe I just like the chase. It was the same with Cara. She’s really cool and smoking as well. But after I had her, I kind of lost interest. She was sweet and all, but I don’t know. I got bored. Like with Taylor. She was really boring. I don’t even know why I was with her that long. Maybe I just wanted to be in a relationship, just to see what it was like? I am definitely not made for relationships, I get bored too quickly. But I do like the idea of having that special one to cuddle with and have great conversations with. I really am not a player, like the papers say I am. I just get bored that’s all. That’s also why I get tattoos. It’s like an addiction. Something new has to happen all the time.

And even if I would like Kate, I know I can’t just make her mine and dump her. She is a friend. She lives in the house with us. And her past… that’s a big issue. I would let nobody hurt her, so I’m not going to try anything. Then I might be the bastard to hurt her… And again, why am I thinking of Kate? I’m NOT into her. And she definitely is not into me. She is actually quite disgusted by me. Ever since that stupid performance. I really shouldn’t have told her anything. We were getting along fine before. Now she’s avoiding me.

God this is frustrating!

***

*Kate’s POV*

I’m glad Niall asked me to come with him to Mullingar. I really need a distraction right now. I need to get out of the house. And I can’t just run again like I did the last time I was confused. God, why does this have to be so hard? I really don’t know what to do anymore. I should probably talk to Niall about it. Maybe he’ll know what to do… NO! I can’t tell him. It’s too embarrassing. Actually it’s not… GOD! I really need to sort out my life!

Ever since I walked in on Harry crying I’ve been feeling weird inside. I don’t know why. I shouldn’t be feeling like this. This is so wrong! Why did he have to do that? Okay I should probably tell what’s going on.

Okay… I went to comfort Harry and he just kept crying for a while. Then he started talking. He had felt he let the boys down that night and he wanted to know what the fans had said. Stupid idea right there. So he had looked at comments on tumblr and he read messages on twitter. He couldn’t tell me what they said, so he showed me instead. They were really awful comments. Most of them anyway. And from people that didn’t even know him! They told him he was worthless and he should stop what he was doing, if he couldn’t do it properly. And some just said they hated him. He told me, that he was most upset about those comments. He wanted everybody to like him and then they hated him for no reason at all. He had really opened up to me. And somehow I did as well. I told him how I felt, when I got those hateful messages. That the worst part had been that I knew them, or thought I did. That they were supposed to be supporting me and instead they were kicking me while I was on the ground.

I was crying. So was Harry. We had let everything out. Everything that bothered us. It was a nice feeling to let it out in the open. And it really brought us closer. I think we could become really close friends now. We just held onto each other for a while. I could feel his heart beating.

“Thank you” he whispered. “I really needed to let it all out.”

He had let go of me and we were now sitting with our foreheads against each other. I could feel his warm breath against my face. I could faintly smell the mint. My heart fluttered. Wait what? Why did it do that? What was going on?

“Thank you too. It’s good to tell someone about it...” we just sat there for a while.

“You know, it’s been almost a year and somehow he still holds on to me. The words he said… I can’t get them out of my head… I just…” I sighed. I felt a tear trickle down my face.

Harry took my face in his hands, forcing me to look at him.

“But you have to let it go though! You know they are not true. Think about it. He called you a slut and a whore, right?” he said in a timid voice. I nodded slightly. I really hated those words.

“But how could you be. You only slept with one person… well willingly.” I could see in his eyes that this was hard to say.

“And calling you ugly? Really? Then he must have been blind. You know, everybody thinks you are gorgeous. You could have any man you wanted, but you just don’t see it. It’s a shame really.”

His face was so close to mine. His words were so sweet. And I knew that what he said was right. I couldn’t be a whore. And I guess I was somewhat pretty. I didn’t feel like that, but everybody kept telling me. Even people I just met. And they wouldn’t lie to me right? But it was hard to let go of the things Jake had said to me for so long. I guess those wise guys were right when they said, that if you say something, the same thing, for long enough, it becomes the truth.

Harry wet his lips. There was that fluttering again. What was he doing to me? Why did he have to be so good looking? I needed to get away. This was not right.

I cleared my throat. “I-I… I should probably go. You need your sleep. Goodnight and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I quickly got up and walked away from him, not looking back.

I really couldn’t feel that way about him, about anyone really. I had tried to stay away from him for two weeks now. From all of them. I couldn’t let this happen. That’s why I need to get away. To think. And Mullingar would be perfect.