The Way Things Change

Chapter 13

The sobbing ceased. The girls let go of me, giving me some space. How was I going to tell them? It was going to be really, really hard. But I needed to. They needed an explanation for my behaviour. I was already exhausted and I hadn’t even started telling my story.

“Honey, what ever it is, you can tell us. No pressure. You just tell us when you are ready” Danielle said. She was so sweet. The tears were building again. Dammit. If they just stopped being that nice, it would be easier.

“We are here for you, you know. We really want you to trust us.” Eleanor gave my arm a little squeeze. They sat in a half circle around me. I was still sitting in the same spot with my back against the wall. I sighed, trying to gather my thoughts.

“I… I don’t know how to st-start.” I stuttered.

“You don’t have to tell us now, we can-” Perrie started, but I cut her off.

“NO! I need to tell you know, otherwise I’m afraid I’m never going to tell. I… I just really don’t know what is important to tell.”

“Everything you are going to tell is important. So why don’t you just start at the beginning? We already know about your mom and dad. You can take it from there. And we are gonna shut up, till you are done. Deal?” Perrie asked.

I sighed again. “Okay deal. But it’s not going to be easy for me. I… I haven’t told anyone about some of these things.”

“We are here for you. Always. And if you tell us not to tell anyone, then we will not do that” Eleanor reassured me.

“Okay… Let’s see. Well my dads name was Charlie Statham and my mom was Gloria Statham. I was their firstborn, born on January 26th 1994. From what I have been told they were just a normal couple. The car crash was on a really hot summer day. The asphalt was melting and my dad lost control over the car. My mom was 6 months pregnant with what would have been my little brother.” The tears were streaming down my face. I could see the pain in the girl’s eyes, but they stayed quiet, just like they had promised. I went on.

“I was brought to an orphanage when the hospital released me. I liked it there, nothing like you always hear. I had a couple of moms and a dad and they were always there for me. Whenever I felt like playing, I had my friends near me. Of course you should do your chores and that, but I liked it and we also went to school there. I was always good in school, so I jumped a few years ahead. Nobody cared that I was younger, ‘cause in the orphanage everybody knew each other.”

“When I was about 10 years old I was placed in a foster family. The first year was okay. I missed the orphanage and all the other children, but I knew I was one of the lucky ones getting a family. But after that first year my foster mum left. So I became the woman in the house. I was 11. My foster father started drinking and I was always the one who should help him get to bed after he                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   had been out drinking. I started hating him. He wasn’t nice to me. Sometimes he was so drunk he started beating me. I really hated him. So I stared exercising a lot. That way I didn’t have to be at home and I could escape from the world, only for an hour or two, but still. I became a woman, well you know, when I was 12. My body started changing and my hips and breasts developed. I hated it. I thought I looked fat. Still look fat. My foster father also saw the changes and one day when I was 13, he came home really drunk and started groping me. I panicked. I knew I was strong, but not as strong as he was. I hit him over the head with a lamp, and then I escaped. I took my belongings with me. It was only one bag. Then I moved in with Anna, my best friend. She was one year older than me. We had a great time. Then I met… Jake… He was in my class, but two years older than me. We started dating when I was 15. Anna didn’t like him, she said he was trouble. But I didn’t care; I was in love with him.” A sob escaped me. I took a minute to gather myself.