The Way Things Change

Chapter 31

Niall and I started the week in Ireland with his mother Maura and step dad Chris. They were living on the edge of Mullingar, so I had amazing running opportunities. It was so beautiful here. I could really relax. And think. Maura was really sweet and we really had a good time together. She insisted that we made cookies together. I wasn't the one to eat them, Niall ate most of them, but it was fun spending time in the kitchen. The introductions had been a bit awkward. Niall bringing home a girl saying she was only a friend. They didn't quite believe it.

Niall wanted to talk to me, but I didn't want to. Not yet. I still didn't know how I felt, or what to feel. This really was a shitty situation. It would really destroy my friendship with Harry. Stupid feelings. But Niall kept pushing, till I told him we could have the talk at the end of the week. Right now I just wanted to enjoy my time of in Mullingar.

Halfway through the week we went to Niall's dad's house. Bobby Horan was a really nice and Niall looked like him. Big surprise since it was his father. I was told that Niall had lived here after the divorce of his parents. He did that to stay close to his friends. It made sense. The loyal Niall. Niall's brother Greg and his pregnant wife Denise came by. They really wanted to see Niall again, since they didn't see him that often. I really liked Niall's family. And I loved the accent. There was something really attracting about it. It made me giggle sometimes.

***

"Kate, we have to talk now." Niall insisted. It was the end of the week and I was packing my bags, since we were leaving in 5 hours. He was sitting on my bed, watching me.

"Do we really have to?" I whined. I had avoided it all week and I really dreaded this.

"Fine then I'll start." He made himself comfortable. "Look Kate, I'm worried about you. You suddenly changed after we came home. You stopped eating as much as you used to, you started dressing up. I'm not complaining or anything, you look really good, but it was not you. You were always so laid back and you didn't care what you wore and suddenly you started dressing up. What was that about? And you avoided any contact with us. You have become stiff..." He sighed.

"I really don't know what's going on, but if we did something to frighten you or something, I'm really sorry. Please just tell me, so I can try and fix it."

I was perplexed. I had no idea he was worried for me. No wonder he wanted to talk so bad.

"No Niall, you didn't do anything to frighten me. It's just..." Was I really going to tell him? Could I do that? Would he tell on me? No of course he wouldn't. He was my friend. I started fidgeting with the hem of my shirt. He just sat there, watching me, waiting for me to continue.

"Oh God, why is this so hard to say? Niall" I looked him in the eyes, begging him. "Promise me you won't be mad, okay? I just... I don't know..." my voice was small.

"For Gods sake Kate! Of course I won't be mad, please just tell me what's wrong. Maybe I can help you." Niall was getting impatient.

I laughed slightly. "You probably won't be able to help me, but I appreciate it. But there has been so many thoughts in my head. I've been so confused and all I wanted to do was run away. I always do that. Have you noticed? Whenever I need to think I-"

"Kate, get to the point!" Niall said sternly.

"Fine" I sighed. "I think... Maybe I'm... Uhmm..." Why was this so hard? I knew I could tell him, he was like my brother goddammit.

"I think I might like Harry" I blurted out. Niall's eyes grew wider in amusement. I needed to get everything out before he said anything, so I quickly continued.

"That night we came home, I found Harry crying in his room. He thought he had let you down and he was reading hurtful messages from some Directioners and I was there to talk to him. We had a really good talk, about everything that bothered us really. And somehow... Look I really don't know why... But our faces were so close and when I looked him in the eyes, I felt my heart flutter. And this is really bad, I can't be feeling like this. It's too soon. I can't open up to someone again like that. I'm too afraid to get hurt again. I wouldn't be able to handle it. Not again. And I know Harry doesn't feel the same. I'm not good enough for him. And I would rather not jeopardize our friendship over something as stupid-" I was rambling and I felt a tear escape my eye.

"Stop it! Stop it right now Kate." Niall interrupted me. He took me into his arms.

"Of course you are good enough for him. To be honest, I think you're too good for him! And you can't help those feelings, it just happens. You can't control it. And I get that you are scared, it is really scary to open up to someone like that, but if he ever hurts you, I promise I will kill him! I mean it!"

"But what if he doesn't like me back? And would I be able to stay friends with you if it didn't work out? I'm sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself. He wouldn't like me like that anyway. He's got Cara, right?" God it felt awful. I thought it should feel good to be in love.

"No Cara is just a friend. Or at least that is what he told me. I don't know how he feels, but I know he's a fool if he rejects you. But you just have to talk to him! You can't keep avoiding him, or us, forever. You live in the same house."

"But Niall-"

"No buts. Look we'll make a deal. I can go talk to him for you if you'll like me to?"

"Would you do that for me?" My voice was full of hope.

"Of course" he squeezed me tighter. "But you have to talk to him afterwards. I'm not going to be the messenger boy" He laughed. I couldn't help but smile. He really made me feel better.

"And if he's a jerk to you, I'll beat him up!"

"No, don't do that. Okay maybe. But we have to pack now, we're leaving in 4 hours and I still want to spend some time with Denise."

"Just promise me you'll talk to him, then I'll let you go."

I sighed. There was no way I was getting out of this. "Fine, I promise."