The Way Things Change

Chapter 50

I had a bad day. Not just your average bad day. A really bad day. Black day. Not even a run had fixed it. It always helped to get me in a better mood, but not this time. Every now and then I had these days. Ever since the incident. I wanted to get rid of them, but the doctors told me there was nothing they could do, since they only appeared on random days, and left soon after. And besides, with all the exercise I got, they told me I should make enough endorphins to keep me happy. But it didn't. They had chosen to call them my depression days, 'cause they were. On these days I was depressed. Clinically tested and all. And there really was nothing I could do about it. Just as long as it didn't become permanent, there was no danger.

Nobody was around. I was home alone. That was already bad on these days. I needed someone. Plus there were some rumours going round of Harry being with someone else, which really wasn't helping my mood. I knew they were not true. Or were they? I really didn't know right now. And to make matters even worse, it seemed to be 'everybody hate on Kate' day on twitter. I got so many hateful messages, I just couldn't take it. I decided to sign off and not look at my phone for a while. I wanted to call Harry. Or one of the others. It really didn't matter, I just needed to talk. But they were busy doing an interview right now. And the girls were busy as well. And I had the day off. Which was actually bad, but good. Did that even make sense? I didn't know. I didn't know anything. What should I do? Everything I tried only seemed to make me more depressed.

I sat in the windowsill, oh good old friend. I was just thinking. I didn't notice the time going by, too deep in thought to even eat. Not that I was hungry, I just forgot everything around me.

I literally jumped 1 foot when my phone started ringing. It was Louis.

"Hey Louis" I tried to sound cheerful, but I couldn't really pull it off. And there was no point really. He would know soon enough. But right now he didn't seem to notice.

"KATE" he chirped. "I miss you! When are you coming over?"

I sighed. I really didn't feel like travelling right now. And besides, I had to work at the gym till they got back, so there was no point in trying to give him hope.

"Louis, I'm not coming over. I have to work. You know that." I really couldn't hold the charade any longer. I sounded exhausted. This time he noticed.

"Are you alright Kate?" His voice had changed completely in seconds. Now he was the concerned older brother. He was looking out for me.

"No, I'm not" I said truthfully. There was no point in lying anyway and I didn't have the strength to. "I'm having one of those days."

He knew what I meant. He had been there for enough of them to know exactly how I was feeling. I had told them many times before.

"How bad is it? No wait, I'll Skype you instead. 3 minutes."

I didn't get time to answer before he hung up. He knew my answer and I actually didn't have a choice. He knew it was best for me to have this conversation 'face to face'.

I grabbed my computer and signed into Skype. Not long after Louis' face appeared in front of me on the screen. He was sitting in a hotel room, clothes everywhere. He was one messy boy. Always had been. I involuntarily smiled at that.