The Brothel [Draken - Tokyo Revengers]

Chapter 3: Mad

Chapter 3:

I got home around past midnight, it couldn't be helped since I had to walk home from Musashi Shrine to the Brothel, and let me tell you, that wasn't a close walk, it was about an hour walk home. I mean I'm freaking broke for Pete's sake, I gave away my wallet and my ride was on a date with another girl. What else am I supposed to do to get home?

My feet were full of cuts and bruises because walking home in getas that don't really fit you well was not a smart thing to do.

"Oh, Haru! Where have you been?" Ken said as he just arrived home as well, he has a bright smile plastered on his face, it seems like he really had fun tonight. I'm glad I didn't call him and interrupt his night.

"You know, here, there," I told him as I flashed him a fake smile. I can't help but feel upset with everything. I am human, I have the right to feel things, right?

"Well, I'm glad you got home safe," He said as he ruffled my hair, "I'm going to bed, good night!" He said as he was heading to his bedroom.

"Ken~!" I called out, he stopped and turned to face me, he then gave me a questioning look, "Are you free tomorrow? Wanna go to the arcade with me?" I mustered up all the courage I had to ask him out even as just friends, this was actually the first time ever I initiated, so it stung when he said he had other plans.

"I'm actually going out with Mikey and Emma tomorrow," He responded. That was heart-shattering. "You should come with us,"

Is he just asking me because he felt bad he rejected me? I wasn't even in their initial plan, so why the hell would I agree to come along? I may be pathetic but I still have a bit of pride left in me, 

"N-no," I stuttered, I was so terrible at hiding my emotions, I couldn't hide the disappointment in my voice, "It's okay, I'll just stay home and read," I told him,

"Haru, you should joi--" He continued to invite me but I really don't want to be an extra again.

"It's fine," I cut him off, "Don't worry about it, let's go out some other time, okay?"

"Haru--" You could see it in his eyes he felt bad for me, and I hated that look the most, I hate it when people pity me, but what can I do? 

I was slowly being tossed aside by the only person who mattered to me.

"Good night, Draken," I said as I walked past him and headed to my bedroom,

"Draken?" I heard him mumble, this was actually the first time I called him by his nickname, change is coming.

Once I was sure I was out of his sight, I limped.

The blisters and bruises I got from walking home were making it so hard to walk, thankfully he hasn't noticed or he would have pitied me more.

"This is fine," I mumbled to myself as soon as I closed my bedroom doors behind me. I threw the getas to the side and got undressed from this super tight and not-so-comfortable kimono. 

I jumped on my bed and practically stared at the ceiling all night.

This was the first time I tried asking someone out and I kind of got rejected, that was so embarrassing. Never again.

...

I was sitting in my bed, reading a good book Misaki-san got me the other day from the library when a giant beanpole barged in my room with a cheeky grin on his face.

"Have you ever heard of knocking? What if I was getting dressed?" I asked Draken,

"Not much to see anyway," He teased, I grabbed my pillow and threw it at him, he just laughed at me. "You're coming with me,"

"I told you I don't want to come!" I whined, he ignored my statement and grabbed me from the bed, and placed me over his shoulder with ease. "Oi, oi, oi!"

"Whether you like it or not, you're coming! It would do you some good to leave this place once in a while," He said as we headed downstairs, "Emma would like to have some female friends too, you two should hang out together,"

What am I? A sacrificial lamb he offers to his god, Emma?

...

We then arrived at this diner, Mikey and Emma were already in the booth waiting for us. I wanted to run away but Ken was holding my wrist so I was unable to escape his gorilla grip.

"It's going to be fun, I promise," He said as we headed inside,

It wasn't fun,

Was it deja vu? The 3 of them were again having a fun conversation while I just sat there and watched. 

"So you two live together?" Manjiro asked, I did not respond.

"Since we were 6," Ken answered on behalf of us, "Our moms left us, so we have that in common," I wasn't really comfortable with Ken telling other people about my past, but he talks about it so casually, 

"That sounds fun! What is Draken like at home?"  Emma asked me, her eyes gleaming with excitement. 

"I don't know, he's barely home," I mumbled, which kind of threw everyone off. It went silent for a moment.

I felt really bad for making things awkward but I just couldn't sit here and pretend this was fun for me when in fact I'm just invited out of pity.

"What do you mean?" Ken asked, breaking the awkward silence in our booth,

"Nothing," I told him as I flashed him the most believable smile I could give, "I'm not really feeling well, I'm going home,"

I'm acting like a brat right now, I know that, but I feel like I don't even exist in his little world anymore. I don't want to get in the way of Draken and his new life with his friends, I don't want to force myself into a group that doesn't even think of me.

I was only invited last minute, I wasn't in their original plan. In fact, the outing where I was the original plan, I got tossed aside.

Where do I fit in his world now?

What hurts more about all of this, I couldn't even hate Emma or any of his new friends because they were great people. Emma is an amazing girl, I could tell even by just barely talking to her, but you could see she's great, and I can't find any reason to be mad at her.

I don't know where I can direct all this frustration and anger building inside of me. I can't be mad at his friends because they haven't done anything wrong, I can't be mad at Ken for liking to hang out with them more than me,

I guess I can only be mad at myself for not being good enough.

I guess all I can do now is just support Ken from the side.