Chapter 6: Regrets

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TW: chapter (and the book itself) contains abuse and derogatory words and such, if you're not used to it, I suggest you stop reading, this book is not about butterflies and sunshine. 

Chapter 6:

I woke up really early that day, Draken was still sleeping on the bed beside me. I should feel happy, my first was with someone I loved ever since I was 6, but why do I feel guilty about this?

He had to do it with me because of certain circumstances, he only thought of me when he decided to do it, but did I ever consider how he felt? I wish I thought of this sooner, I should have just said no.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled as I watched Draken sleep beside me,

I got up from the bed and left the brothel to get some fresh air, I didn't have to meet Arima Kiyoshi until 7 PM tonight so I should savor the free time I had left.

While I was walking around the streets of Shibuya, I bumped into Emma who was shopping for groceries.

"Why are you out so early?" I asked, she smiled and showed me her grocery bag,

"We didn't have breakfast at home, Mikey would be cranky if he woke up without any breakfast," She explained,

She's even diligent at housework, she'd make a great housewife. I envy her.

"I'll let you do your thing then," I told her as I was about to leave, 

"Can we talk?" Emma asked as I was heading in the opposite direction, I froze and hesitantly nodded to her request.

I don't feel good about this, this is another heartbreak in the making,

We then sat down on a nearby bench, there wasn't a lot of people this early in the morning so we can talk freely about whatever it is she wants to talk about,

"You're in love with Draken too, right?" She asked the moment we sat down, she's not beating around the bush,

"What?" I was taken aback by her question, but somehow I'm not surprised,

"I could tell the moment I met you at the festival a few years ago,"  She stated, "I just wanted to let you know, I'm not backing down, from now on were rivals," She said with a stern expression on her face,

"Is that what this is all about?" I asked, "Draken and I are just friends, whatever my feelings are for him, it doesn't matter,"

"But the way you look at him--," Emma started off,

"We're just friends," I repeated, it hurts more the second time I said it, "If you want to pursue him, you have my support," I told her honestly, I can't deny it hurts, it hurts so much, but what could I do? I never stood a chance, 

All I could do is watch from the sidelines and support them in whatever way I can, even if it's tearing me apart.

"But--," She still wasn't convinced,

"If you keep at it, I'm sure your feelings will come across," I told her, "be patient, he's just a little dense,"

"Thank you," She smiled sincerely at me, "Thank you for giving up your feelings for Draken for me,"

I never had a chance to begin with,

...

I headed back to the brothel to get some more sleep, I'm assuming Draken is awake by now, I dropped by his room to give him the curry I bought so he would have something to eat for lunch.

As I entered his room he looked pretty spaced out,

"I brought you lunch," I said as I placed the plastic on his table near the door,

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