So, it's probably not what you were excepting, mainly because I doubt it's what you wanted. But after brainstorming over the idea for a while this is what I came up with, I'm truly sorry to put your name to this disaster.
Requested by @Notawayne
"Tt'. No one's incompetent enough to believe a stone statue would be put on a coffee table. Not even Todd." Damian's voice came from somewhere, but it was hard to tell where he was hiding.
"I dunno, I'm kinda getting used to it, she's starting to look like she belongs," Dick added coming out from behind the couch to stretch his legs.
"She looks like she's on the verge of tears, what style are you trying to invoke?" Tim questioned, walking out of the closet he'd been hiding in.
"I don't think the pained expression is a style choice." Dick said, coming closer to where you stood, "It's probably just that she's been standing like that for twenty minutes. Kinda impressive you've been able to hold that position so long." He gave you a thumbs up.
You tried to shoot back a smile, but your legs felt like they were being ripped apart and they might go out at any moment. You had been told you could sit down, but what if Jason walked in that exact second?
"Yeah, I'm still shocked Alfred let her stand on the table," Tim commented, crossing his arms.
"It would seem Master Jason has forgotten he was supposed to come by the manor at today at three," Alfred said, coming in the room.
"Somebody's going to have to go get him I guess," Dick said.
"I'll do it!" You offered, but it came out as a weak croak before you fell off the table, Dick caught you before you hit the ground.
"Are you sure you'll be able to drive?"
"Sure." You rush out the door before anyone can stop you, and ponder your existence on your way down the stairs.
You joined the Batfamily three years back when you'd just started as a vigilante, you'd captured Joker single-handedly.
You were on your way to a costume party when your heel broke and you went down. Before you could regain your footing someone tripped over your butt, thinking it was a groper. Having no personal experience you didn't take into consideration the fact that if someone were trying to, "feel you up" how slim the chances of them trying to do it with a shoed foot would be. So you hit the man over the head with a bag that you'd stole from a passerby. With every intention of returning it afterward.
As it turned out you'd not only single-handedly identified the Joker while he was disguised, you managed to immobilize him, and recover the gold he'd stolen which a goon dressed as a little old woman was trying to make off within his purse.
What were you supposed to do when Batman asked you to join the bat family? Say, 'no, I was just on my way to a costume party, broke a heel, mistook him for a groper, and stole a purse from a person I thought was an old woman?'
He asked for your name, your first idea for a hero name was Duckgirl, but Batman said no. Next up you purposed Lucky duck, but he didn't like that one either. Finally, you decided to stop consulting him because he'd never be pleased and to call yourself Quackers. And Batman demanded to know what was your deal with ducks.
You parked in front of Jason's apartment and you soon found yourself knocking on his door, you heard his footsteps coming towards the door.
The door swung open and you were stunned at what you saw. He wasn't wearing his jacket!
You averted your vision feeling your face heat, before shouting, "sorry wrong number!" And bolting away.
You locked yourself in a closet.
So awkward! How is your friendship ever going to be normal again? How are you going to look him in the eye after that?
It was hard to evaluate your options with the people making out right next to you. But eventually, you decided the only way for this not to be weird, is to forget that ever happened and avoid him.
But how are you going to avoid him when you're supposed to take him to the party?
After considering the situation long and hard you decide to play it cool, pretend this wasn't your first rodeo. But you had to think up a reasonable lie of why you ran off seconds before; and quickly, as the closet wasn't big enough for three people, and counting you there was currently five.
You opened the door and stumbled out into the cold air.
Jason was waiting for you in the hall.
"Sorry about that just now," You smiled and laughed awkwardly trying to look him in the eyes, and only look him in eyes. "I came here to see you, but didn't recognize you when you opened the door, so I thought I'd gotten the wrong number so I bolted into what I thought was the right number only to find that it was the janitor's closet." You didn't lie very much, so you were oddly proud you'd come up with such a well-thought-out one.
"But Y\N, you've been to my apartment on multiple occasions."
All of which time you were fully clothed. You thought to yourself fighting off the heat absorbing your face.
"Y\N, why are you--"
"I'm not blushing!" You insist, "I got a sunburn! The other day when I went scuba diving with my dog Bob, then we went to pick lemons! Which you should never do after scuba diving because picking lemons after scuba diving makes you especially prone to sunburn! Especially if you have a dog with you! I don't know why, I don't make the rules of the universe, I just have insane luck. But you can trust me because I'm sunburned which proves it's true!" You stood there panting and leaning over balancing yourself on your thighs while you tried to catch your breath. You began to worry, you didn't own a dog.
"No, I wanted to know why you're painted like a rock."
"I had a date and wanted to be taken seriously? I'm not used to doing my own makeup, so I might have used a bit too much makeup?" You were starting to worry, were you becoming a psychopath? The lies began coming easier as each slipped out your lips.
"We need to get to the manor," You finally say starkly changing the subject.
"What happened?"
"No time, we need to get going."
"Okay." He said hurrying down the stairs.
"Aren't you going to get dressed first?" You cried.
"I am dressed."
So it's going to be like that, oh boy.
You rushed down the stairs after him, the drive was long and uncomfortable.
When you arrived at manor you got out and ran in, you bolted past everyone and dove under the couch only to find someone already hiding under it, or something. It let out a low growl and you shot back out the door and slammed into Jason. If nothing else, if fate kept up like this, he'd never realize you're avoiding him.
"Surprise!" Everyone shouted, all springing from their hiding places.
Becoming aware of the position you were in-being on top of Jason when he was so scantily dressed-you assured everyone it wasn't what it looked like then fainted out of pure embarrassment.
Bonus, because it was funny but I had nowhere to put it.
Seeing a shadow cross the wall you quickly took up a pose and stood as still as you could.
Bruce entered the room, he looked at you for a few moments before asking, "What are you doing Y\N?"
You were stunned, sure you'd heard what a great detective he was, but this was truly incredible! "How did you know it was me?" You asked.
"Even painted like a rock you still look the same. I saw you earlier. And last, the toga you wearing looks like one that would have been worn in ancient Greece. But the peace sign and duck lips weren't popularized until the last hundred years." That hadn't occurred to you when you struck a pose.
Please leave a like and comment to thank me for being stupid! It isn't easy.
YOU ARE READING
Batboys Lemons
FanfictionI wrote these at like fourteen. Do with that what you will.🤦 Most the first ones are terrible. The latest ones were written within this year. Because even after ending the book, I never truly stop. Enjoy???🤷
