Pain (L.H)

Emotions

Later on in the night Andrew, Phil, Liz, Luke, Ben and Jack decided to go outside to get fresh air on the balcony. They turned the heater on and sat around it talking.

I stood inside watching them through the window. I told them I would clean the table and wash the dishes. I watched how my father wrapped his arm around Ben making him laugh.

My dad never made me laugh.

"Hey" A voice said and I snapped my head to the right to see Luke walk in the door.

"Are you okay?" He asked

"Yeah I'm just tired " I lied.

In reality I was burning with anger. My dad treated his friend's daughters or sons like his own children while he was abusing is own daughter.

"Don't lie to me" Luke said.

"I'm fine go back outside" I said rather harshly.

Luke clenched his jaw and set his guitar down. He stuck his hands in his pockets and looked me straight in the eye.

"I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong"  he said.

I couldn't tell Luke what my father did to me or how I felt. My father would never forgive me.

"Don't you trust me? " Luke asked

"You don't trust me either" I say

"Says who?" Asked Luke

"How would you know if I hadn't told the police?" I tested him.

"You wouldn't do such a thing" Luke said.

Luke was right.

"Still don't trust me?" Luke asked

"How am I suppose to trust you when I know what you do" I said.

Luke pursed his lips.

"If you don't trust me then at least let me calm you down" Luke said.

Luke grabbed his guitar and sat on the couch motioning me to sit across from him.

"Can i start?" He asked

I nod. He strummed a soothing melody from his guitar.

"Don't look around coz love is blind and darling now I can't see you,
Im feeling proud so without a doubt I can feel you,
Coz we are who we are when no ones watching,
And your right from the start, you know I got you,

Luke's voice filled my ears. A mixture of different emotions started to show on my face. I looked down to the floor to hide it.

"I won't mind, even though I know you'll never be mine,
I won't mind, even though I know you'll never be mine"

I gulped as a tear slipped down my left cheek. I quickly wiped it away. As Luke sang this song I felt calm. It was an emotional song it made me think of my mother. Once again. It reminded me of how she'll never be alive on this earth again.

I looked up into his blue eyes.

"That was beautiful" I croaked. Hoping that my tear stained face would be dry by the time Luke looked at me.

"Thanks" he said "mind telling me what your feeling now "

I nodded. How could I not.

"My dad and I never had a good relationship" started.

Luke raised his eyebrows and motioned me to go on.

"He treats other people like his own children and never does the same to me" I continued. I couldn't tell him the rest. It was a dark secret that I kept from the world.

Dad unwrapped his arm from Ben's shoulder and ruffled Jack's hair.

Luke was watching my father "I see" Luke said.

"Why does it have to be like this" I said while shaking my head and looking down to the ground.

"Like what?" Asked Luke

"Like we only have one chance to live" I said

Luke looked confused.

"One wrong move and we will never get to see the lights of the world again" I said.

Luke looked at me studying every inch of my face. The expression on his face began to soften and his eyes lightened its colour of blue.

He wrapped his arms around me and rested his chin on the top of my head.

"Why us?" I mumbled into his chest.

"I don't know Jazmine" Luke said "I don't know."

At the corner of my eye I saw dad looking at us through the window. His eyes darkened and his right eye slightly twitched. I could tell that tonight was going to be a rough night. I wrapped my arms around Luke's waist embracing the warmness the fact that he will protect me from what's out there.

There will be a time where he could protect me from my father and he will figure out what's happening to me but he can't know now, not yet. My father is watching my every move.

But there is one thing that he can't protect. He can't protect my emotions and the way that every night will bring a scar to my skin and the horrible memory of being harmed will linger at the back of my head.