WhenILoveYa-ff:

WhenILoveYa: Chapter 10.5

Amber

I lay sprawled across the damp grass staring into the night sky. As Chris passes the cigarette to me, I remember that I’m somewhere with someone who actually wants to be around me. I can’t help but smile…

“So are you going to call her back?” I curiously ask blowing the smoke from between perched lips hoping he says no.

He lets out a sigh and sits up on his hands “I’m honestly tired of trying Amber….”

“Well?” I scoot in closer laying my head on Chris shoulder

“Well I’m not sure if I’m making the next move. She never has to do shit to win me back, and yeah I fuck up, but I’m trying. I told her this was a possibility and she was down, I don’t know what the fuck happened…”

It annoys me so much to hear him wanting her, and she couldn’t care less about him. I’d trade places with her in a heartbeat if that meant being around this man all the time.

I huff and it flows without warning “Chris she doesn’t deserve you!” I say and immediately regret it

“Huh?”

“I mean….Chris it’s not fair….” I play with my fingers regretting ever opening my mouth

He slides his hands down his face “….Amber she’s amazing when she’s not in one of her moods”

“And it seems like she’s always in one of her moods and it sucks because….because some of us would love to have what she’s willing to get rid of.” I feel myself about to cry but I have to talk to someone about it. “Chris if I could have a husband who wanted to make it work, wanted to see me smile, and didn’t put his hands on me every chance he gets, I’d be in heaven.” I shake my head kissing my teeth “…she’s plain stupid for not wanting you.” I say dusting the grass off my leggings

“So that nigga putting his hands on you?” Chris says angrily, now standing

I can’t say anything, but I now feel the tears falling onto my shirt “I just want to be happy….to finally feel happiness.”

“Come on.” Chris says grabbing my hand pulling me to his truck

I run behind him trying to catch up “Where are we going Chris?”

“We’re getting your shit, and you’re moving with me until we can get you a new place. Why the fuck are you still with him Amber!”

I mean Cam could care less about me, but I better not ever try to leave him. As he would usually call me his “valueless property”. I was his, and if I tried running away, the harder the beatings got.

“No….I can’t…” I say lowly

I can tell he’s getting agitated “What the fuck do you mean? This nigga beating on you and you want to stay? Amb this has to be the stupidest thing you----“

I cut him off “I ran away twice and the last time he found me I came back from the hospital with a black eye, a broken nose, and fractured ribs. Chris I’m tired of fighting him!” I break down right there in Chris’ arms, and I could feel him squeeze me tighter

He lifts my chin wiping my falling tear “Amber I promise you won’t have to see him again. I promise...you hear me?” I lean in kissing his lips gently, and he lets me. For the next few minutes we are one and our lips never part. His grip on me is firm, but there is not a frightened bone in my body.

“Yes Chris, please!” I whisper upon his lips

He kisses my lips one last time “Let’s go to my place!” he moans lowly making my knees weak