To Have Loved [BxB] Book I ✓

Chapter 22

a/n: Look at me actually posting something on schedule. I didn't know if I'd do it, but I ended up writing an extra 1000 words to get this finished up last night so I hope you guys enjoy it. Also, happy New Year! I hope you guys are all doing great and don't forget to drink your water and moisturize your skin. 

It was the last Friday before midterms and Kayden was panicking more than a little. He hadn't eaten and had barely slept in the past day because he was so stressed. He pretended not to notice the concerned look Elias gave him when he barely spoke during English class, but if that didn't give it away, it might have been his leg that was shaking nonstop under his desk. He hadn't been able to get himself to study and exams were Monday. He had no idea what he'd do. What if he failed? He couldn't afford to fail. It couldn't hurt his grades that bad, could it? 

After classes ended, he sat at his usual seat in the library even though Elias wasn't there to help him. He thought maybe, just maybe, it was the place they studied rather than Elias that helped him so much. A few minutes into making an attempt at skimming his textbook though, that theory was painfully disproved. So what was he supposed to do? Knock on Elias' door and ask him to help? Well, yes, but he couldn't, could he? He stared at his textbook, running his fingers through his hair.  My door's still open, you know. It was an offer of help, maybe even a truce, but if Kayden took it, it would mean setting down his pride and acknowledging that he'd been wrong, and Elias did know him better than he knew himself. It would also mean that Elias knew what was best for him and wanted it, and Kayden had openly rejected that even though he knew deep down that it was what he needed. 

He let out a quiet breath, resting his head on the table. It was already getting dark, courtesy of the shortened days of winter. He knew he didn't have much time left to get his act together, and if he was going to ask for help, he shouldn't wait around squandering his minutes, so he stuffed the textbook into his backpack and pulled himself together before he headed back to the dorm building. 

As it turned out, thinking about knocking on Elias' door to ask him for help after calling him an egotistical control freak and actually doing it seemed to be a lot different when he was trying to put his plan into action. In reality, Kayden stood at Elias' door, trying to figure out exactly what he wanted to say while his stomach tied itself in knots. He raised his hand to knock against the wood about five times before he heard some rustling inside the room and frantically looked for some corner to run behind, but ultimately couldn't decide before the door was swung open by the blond who looked down at him in slight confusion. "Kayden?"

The redhead was nervously pulling at his fingers, hesitating to look up at him. "Hey, I uh, y'know, I just figured I should probably uhm...I don't know if I'll pass my midterms and I can't make myself study, I've tried and it's not working. I'm sorry I was a dick to you, can you please help?" He asked, finally looking up at Elias as he took the first breath since starting his sentence. 

Elias checked the time on his watch before he sighed softly. "You have two days and tonight until midterms." 

"I know, and I should have listened to you, but I didn't and I can't change it," Kayden said, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Do you have time to help me or not?" 

Elias crossed his arms and his brows furrowed as he looked Kayden in the eye for a moment, then he ran his fingers through his hair and glanced back into his room. "Alright, I'm prepared enough anyway, so I guess I can help, but you're going to have to promise me that you'll work with me here. If you stop putting in effort, so do I. I'm not going to spend time teaching you the information if it's not helping" Elias said and Kayden nodded. 

"I promise."

"Good, then come in. Let's get your notes together first and then figure out some kind of plan for how to maximize the time we have left." He said and Kayden smiled, walking in quickly and sitting down on Elias' bed, pulling out his textbooks and papers.