To Have Loved [BxB] Book I ✓

Chapter 38

a/n: Alright, so I'm back with a new chapter. I hope you guys like it. I've really wanted to develop Henry a little more and honestly, he just deserves to be happy. He's such a sweet person and I just wanted a happy ending to a chapter for once, so this is that. Also, I love this song, I've been listening to it kind of nonstop. Anyways, enjoy the chapter, remember to take care of yourself and stay hydrated, and I'll see you all next week!

On the third Friday in March, Henry was where he usually was on a Friday night, at his house. Of course, he could also say he was at a party, considering that music was blaring downstairs and there were about fifty kids from his school dancing and drinking. He thought sometimes that perhaps this was humanity in its truest form. One might look at his living room and see a mass of drunk idiots, and another might see an ocean of laughter and enjoyment, every person singing along to the same song, blissfully ignorant of shame or regret. Sure, nothing about it was fulfilling, but it wasn't supposed to be. Truly, what lay at the heart of every man was hedonism and nothing more. Henry always told himself that it was cruel to look for deeper meaning in life where there was none. And still, a certain feeling tugged at his chest every time he spotted that mop of brunet waves in the crowd. He couldn't seem to reconcile this feeling against absurdism. Those two concepts just couldn't exist in the same universe, yet here he was. There was no meaning in life, except for Luke. 

Despite popular belief, Henry didn't actually like being drunk all that much. Sure, he didn't mind being tipsy from time to time, but he knew how many drinks he could have before he started getting drunk and stayed well under that number. He just didn't like the feeling of being out of control, he'd never seen the appeal in it. So while everyone else played beer pong and immediately after did a round of shots, Henry drank water and played Uno with a small group of mostly-still-sober friends. 

At the moment, he was doing just that, and as with many games, he was winning. Henry often joked about that being his hidden superpower. He almost never lost at games that were mostly luck-based. Luck was on his side, except for when he actually needed it. He'd always wanted love but never quite got it. It wasn't because he couldn't find someone, he had boys and girls practically throwing themselves at him. It was just hard for him to find anyone he truly loved back. It'd only been easy once, the first time, and every time after that seemed to turn into a dull reflection of what he really wanted. Though life went on and he figured there wasn't any use being dramatic about it when that wouldn't change the way things were. Love was nothing more than sex and chemicals anyway, wasn't it? He wasn't missing out on anything.

"Draw four," Milo said with a grin at El, who groaned quietly and picked up the cards. 

"I hate this game," She said. 

"Then why do you play it?" Henry asked, setting down a draw 2 card which his friend, James, set another draw 2 card on top of. 

"What else am I gonna do? Play spin the bottle? Go back to the dorms? This is all there is to do," She said, setting down a card after Milo took his turn. 

"Maybe we should all go out to the arcade three miles away instead," Henry chuckled. 

"That would be chaos," Milo said with a small smile. 

"Hey, can you guys deal me in?" Luke asked as he walked in. 

"You can take half of my cards," El offered, showing him the stack she had in her hands. 

"Dude, how are you so bad at this?" Luke asked with a laugh. 

"Rotten luck," She said, handing him about half her deck.

"You can't do that, that's cheating," James said quickly.

"It's evening out the playing field," El said as Luke sat down next to her.