To Have Loved [BxB] Book I ✓

Chapter 8

Kayden knew he'd done badly on his history test even before he got his paper back. He had blanked on the test and just bullshitted his way through the short answer questions. It was starting to feel pointless even trying to study when he only remembered about a quarter of what he read. 

He watched as Mr. Roberts set papers on desks, giving a small smile to students who did well, and a 'good job' to students who did really well. When he gave Kayden his paper, he looked him in the eye but said nothing before moving on. He took a breath before glancing down at the writing in red ink, swallowing thickly. 

D
Kayden, please see me after class.  
-Mr. Roberts. 

He swore he was allergic to confrontation or something. He could feel his throat closing up and his chest tightening already. He gritted his teeth and folded his test up, putting it in his backpack and running his fingers through his hair, trying not to hyperventilate. He didn't understand why he had such an aversion to talking about his failures, but it was terrifying to him, and talking about it with an adult made it a million times worse. 

Kayden spent the entire hour thinking about what would happen after class, what would be said to him, what he would say. Every time Mr. Roberts looked at him he swore he was glaring, he didn't want to be seen or heard, he just wanted to run away and hide and never have to deal with his problems or own up to his mistakes. He didn't make any comments during that class like he usually would, he just stayed silent and hoped he wouldn't be called on. 

When all the other students began walking out, he almost considered following them, maybe he could pretend to forget he was supposed to talk to Mr. Roberts, but when he stood up and slung his backpack over his shoulder, he heard his name called. 

"Kayden, come here please." The man said and Kayden made his way over to him. 

"Yeah?" 

"I'm assuming that you looked at your paper before you haphazardly shoved it into your bag?" He raised his eyebrows and Kayden scuffed his shoes against the wood floor, but nodded, staring at his feet. "And you know a D is not the kind of grade expected of a student attending this school?"

"Mhm."

"Did you study?"

"I tried." He mumbled.

"What do you mean you tried?" He asked and Kayden took in a breath, shrugging as he counted the floor tiles. "Oh for god's sake, boy, look at me when I'm talking to you and speak up. I asked you a question: What do you mean you tried?" He asked a bit louder and Kayden looked up at him, trying to figure out how to speak. His chest hurt and he could feel his hands shaking, he wanted to cry. 

"I-I don't know, I sat down and I stared at my textbook and I read it and I did the assignments, but as soon as I looked at the test, I couldn't remember anything of what I'd read. You can ask Theo or Grant or Brooks, I studied, it just...it didn't work." His words came out quickly and he wasn't sure if he was explaining himself well, but Mr. Roberts looked at him for a moment, seeming to be trying to decide what to do with him. 

"Well, perhaps what you need is a tutor," Mr. Roberts said with a small smile as if the problem was fixed entirely. Kayden hesitated, he'd never done well with tutors, he'd tried a few before and he never liked any of them. He always got frustrated and felt like they were talking down to him.

"I don't need help, I'm doing fine-"

"Mr. Welshman, your grade will tank if you don't start doing better on these tests. Even your grades on the class assignments won't completely save you."

"But sir, you don't understand, I hate tutors." 

"Maybe that's why your grade is suffering. Look, there are many students who I know would volunteer, even a few in this class. I'd just like you to try for a month and if your testing doesn't improve, then we'll discuss other solutions." He said and Kayden didn't like it, but still, he nodded a bit. It was only a month, and if it worked, maybe it'd make things easier.