Something In Between.

XXL Temple Sweatshirts and a lot of Tears

Heylo! Thanks for reading!
Xoxo dreamer9923
Dedicated to bm12532 for voting!
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Blog Entry 9
I didn't want to get out of bed. I wanted to melt and fuse into the sheets so I can live a sedimentary life style until I die. I decided last night I wasn't going to school. I sat in bed waiting to the world to agree with me that my life wasn't worth living. God should just come and smite me now because it would save everyone a lot of heartache.

I sat staring blankly at my wall. Everything reminded me of Ade. I had all the Build'a'Bears we made lined up on my window seat. I stared at them tears pricking at my eyes.

I laid back in bed and turned on some Bastille and covered my face with my hands and I began to cry hysterically.

-/-

"Honey?" my mom crept into my room her face red from crying obviously she just heard about Ade. "Yeah mom." I squeaked. Her face fell and I burst into tears. "Baby...... Baby..... Baby...." she grabbed me and stroked my hair. I told her the whole story from the beginning.

-/-

It's been 3 days. I haven't moved. I haven't eaten anything outside an apple and a couple glasses of water my mom forced me to have. I laid in bed crying or I laid in bed staring blankly at the ceiling. It was barely an existence.

Chris has been texting me nonstop, but I just ignored them. I turned off the ring and vibrate silencing Chris's desperate attempts to get me to talk with him. The school excused me for 3 school days so I would have to return on Thursday.

I was partially hoping Chris would be waiting for me and excited to see me when I return but with my very cold attitude towards him I would be lucky if he even wanted to just tutor with me at school. Good bye friendship. Good bye hope of what it could be. I jack things up with everyone I'm near.

Everyone will hate me eventually. It's just a matter of time.

-/-

((Thursday))
I got up out of bed and sluggishly walked over to my bathroom. I stood shakily at the mirror admiring my hag like appearance. My hair was a rat's nest, I smelled like a garbage can, I had ginormous bags underneath my eyes and I my face was swollen from crying. I groaned and stepped into the shower letting the water wash away the hurt. I threw on ripped leggings, my beat up Uggs and a XXL Temple sweatshirt. I tied my hair in a messy bun. An outfit that finally represents how I feel on the inside.

-/-

I drove to school myself using my junker. I nearly cried because I would normally be with Ade right now.

I had spent the last couple days numbing the pain, and it's all hitting me now. It feels like something is gripping my throat demanding that I cry and feel this because it's what I deserve. I choked back a sob, but I knew I couldn't be this strong all day.

I pulled into the school taking a deep breath before stepping out of my car. I began walking towards the school. Every person I passed hushed and stared. My cheeks heated and I rushed towards my locker practically shoving my face into it. I grabbed my things and headed to my next class.

I was completely zoned out until an arm draped itself around me. I jumped, and Chris's laugh echoed through the hall. I turned to see Chris beaming. I half-smiled up at him,and he grabbed me and pulled me into a tight hug. I hugged him back until the bell rang. We parted ways after he stuck a sticky note to my forehead. It read tutoring, library here because of cleaning lady. I was so excited. Everything seemed to be back to normal with Chris. The thought of Ade was still choking me, but at least I had Chris.

All day I joked with Keith and the rest of the boys. Chris was no where to be seen which was strange to say the least. He was always with me in a friendship bro and sis kind of way definitely not romantic. I mentally cringed. I wanted something happen between us so bad. Gaaaaah! Where is he?

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Chris Crain Blog Page
Hey yall it's Chris and I'm posting to Lindy's blog. Shush and don't tell her. I'm just gonna clear up some stuff so I don't seem like such an ass.

(Monday)

I walked into school eager to see Lindy after what happened to Ade. I've been feeling horrible the whole weekend because I can't help but feel the extreme guilt for coming between the two girls. I never meant to... if they were still friends, and I wasn't there Ade wouldn't have been alone at AnarchyFest, and she wouldn't have been driving and she wouldn't have....

I tried not to think too hard about it off pulling on my badass bad boy shell. I strutted into school glaring at some stupid jocks that were bullying some nerd. I wanted to stop it physically, but once they saw my glare they let the freshman go.

I had to find Lindy. I rolled past her locker realizing she wasn't there. I checked guidance, the restroom, the office and her next class. Where is she? I wondered. No reason to go to class half way into the lecture so I wandered around the halls. I strolled casually through the office until the receptionist grabbed me. "Christopher, cutting class I see. Mr. Calkin would like to speak to you." she snapped. "Ok." I chirped. I walked back to our assistant principal's office. Mr. Calkin is a balding man in his late 50s. He's kind of hard to take seriously, but I wouldn't cross him because he's pretty strict. He served in the Marines for 25 years. He cares for all of the students despite his tough exterior.

"Ah! The infamous Christopher Crain please have a seat." I sat down feeling a bit uneasy. I hadn't done anything wrong right? He knows that stink bomb was Keith right? I thought to myself, chuckling a bit at the memory of Mrs. Gonzalez's face as the mushroom cloud erupted. "Mr. Crain, it has come to my attention that you and your friends are friends with Ms. Lindy Thomas." "Yes sir." "And you know her dear friend Adeline Crue..." he and I both paused at the mention of Lindy's dead friend. I nodded not wanting to press the subject. "I have an assignment for you and your friends, especially you. I would like you to be extra friendly and caring towards Lindy. Report how she is feeling and doing to me and bring her to me if she has any problems coping with the death of her friend. This is very important. I do not want her making rash decisions that could end in..." he didn't need to finish. "Can you do what I'm asking. This is one of the most important things you can do." He stared at me. "Of course." I answered right away. "You care about her don't you." He questioned eyebrows raised. "Yes." I answered honestly. More than care. I thought. "More than a friend? Does she know how you feel?" He questioned eagerly. I probably flushed 6000 shades of red. I got up and left Mr. Calkin calling after me. All I could think was, "I really care about this girl as more than a friend but she doesn't know. And she never will." I resolved then and there that Lindy would never know because that would be a weakness I couldn't afford to have. For her sake and mine. Christopher Crain doesn't do love.

Yo Chris out.
Keith waz here! :D
Go away Keith

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dreamer9923