Something In Between.

Gionnitello's Chris's POV

mhart0312 requested that I do this for y'all so I hope you enjoy!!!
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Blog Entry 15:
Hey guys! I hijacked Lindy's blog again to explain myself......... So let's begin.

After the funeral, I could never be unhappy again. I put my heart on the line and asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes. I had practiced the singing part in the mirror at least 100 times but her smile was worth it.

Keith, Daniel and Lucas were really cool about it and even encouraged me to ask. Life was perfect.

I was planning our 3 month anniversary dinner tonight. I was so excited.

I was taking her to Gionnitello's a fancy Italian place. My parents have connections there so I was able to reserve the best table. Tonight had to be perfect because I was going to propose that she would go with me and the boys on our annual summer cross country road trip (that was generously funded for all of us by my absentee parents) because I couldn't leave her for 3 months and the boys were happy to have her come along.

I dressed in khakis and a light blue button down. It was my nicest shirts. I styled my hair and slipped on my Sperry's.

I grabbed my wallet and keys and ran to my car to pick up Lindy. I smiled and pulled out. She has such an effect on me it's almost scary.

I knocked on her door excited to get going. Mr. Thomas opened the door and greeted me. Her brother Oliver jogged up to welcome me in. "Hey Chris!" Mr. Thomas said with a grin. He clapped me on the back and I bro hugged Oliver. I could see Mrs. Thomas and Serena sitting on the couch sipping their coffees knowingly staring at me and I waved and they waved back smiling.

I loved Lindy's family and they loved me. Since that first family dinner I've loved them all. They're all so loving and genuine and protective of one another. They're a functional family--- something I don't have.

I was joking with Oliver and Mr. Thomas until I heard steps coming down the stairs. I turned and Im pretty sure my jaw dropped. Lindy looked gorgeous. She was wearing a light blue dress that matched my shirt beautifully. She was as beautiful on the outside as on the inside. She's perfect. I couldn't keep from smiling. Oliver and Mr. Thomas were smiling as she began to run down the stairs and being the beautifully clumsy girl she is she tripped into my arms.

I hugged her and she kissed me making my cheeks heat up because I knew Oliver and her dad were still watching.

She said goodbye to her family as I pulled her out the door.

I opened the door for her and we were off. I couldn't help but smile. Tonight was going to be perfect.

-/-

We sang to the radio and played I Spy until we pulled into Gionnitello's. I got out and ran over to my side pulling the door open for her. God she looked so beautiful. "Why thank you kind sir." She said smirking. I smiled and placed my hand on the small of her back happy we were touching and I guided her into the restaurant.

We walked into the fancy restaurant. I stopped her in front of the host. He was a stuck up looking French man who had a strange looking mustache and a unibrow. "Do you have a reservation?" he said in a thick French accent. "Yes. Crain for 2." I said still smiling. I'm on a date with my amazingly wonderful girlfriend. "Ahhhh! Mr. and Mrs. Crain. Right this way. Please follow me." We began to walk with the man. "Mr. and Mrs. Crain?" She questioned me quietly. I didn't exactly know how to respond. "It's polite I guess, but you gotta admit I has a nice ring to it." I said smiling at her stunned expression obviously caught off guard by my marriage comment. I smiled at her. Mrs. Lindy Crain. Lindy Crain. Mrs. Christopher Crain. My wife, Lindy Crain. Yep definitely has a nice ring to it.

I was snapped back to reality by the waiter pulling the chair out for her. She sat down taking in her surroundings because she obviously hasn't been here before. "Please enjoy the meal." Lindy and I both nodded as he left.

"I got us the best table of the restaurant." I said. I stuck my finger up in the air making sure she noticed the beautiful chandelier above us. I kept my eyes trained on her face to make sure I didn't miss her reaction.

Her eyes shot skyward. Her jaw dropped. It was perfect. She lowered her eyes and we locked gazes. I couldn't take my eyes off her and we were the only things existing in that moment. Nothing could pull me away from her. I know I'm young and a fool but I want to be with her for the rest of my life.

The waiter came by and explain the chef special I think but we weren't paying attention.

"Yeah we'll have 2 of that." I said not breaking eye contact with her. I don't know what I just ordered but I don't care.

The waiter scurried away and she laughed waking me from my trance

"Do you even know what you ordered for us?" she questioned still laughing. "Nope." I said smirking at her. "Well if it's snails your eating it all." she laughed out. "So," she began sheepishly "I have something to tell you." I leaned in giving her all my attention. "Me too but ladies first." I said smiling. "Ok so I'm going to do advanced summer classes to get back on track. I've been doing so good managing my stress and I'm done with this break. It's been fun but I need to wake up from this daydream. I need to get my priorities back in order. I need to get my old life back which means less fooling around." Wait what? I sat there stunned. I loved her and she just thought it was a daydream. Am I not high priority? Hurt crossed my face and I winced as I watched her smile fade. I realized she couldn't let her do this. She needs a stress free summer with.............. with me. "No." I said flatly, stone faced. I wouldn't let her do this. "What? Why? I've been doing so well. I need this. What we've been doing.... I can't go on like this I won't have a future if I'm slacking off. I need to get back on track with my priorities in order." She said more forcefully. Hurt crossed my face again despite my best attempts to stay neutral. I felt like I was kicked in the gut. With every word she said about us just being a temporary, low priority, daydream, I felt more and more stupid. The one time I trust my heart and put it on the line. Frick. She was my weakness and I exposed it because I thought she felt the same. I guess not. I felt like I was going to throw up. She has no idea the gravity of her effect on me. She's tearing me apart and she doesn't even know it. I needed to say something. "So this whole relationship isn't getting you a future. Wow. That makes me feel so damn good. Really high freaking priority. You're saying I'm nothing compared to your successful career. I'm sorry I'm not good enough for you. I did this for you because I care. I moved classes to be with you. To make sure you didn't freaking try to kill yourself." We both paused. What the frick. I wasn't supposed to say that. Shit. She was stunned into silence. I was never supposed to let her know I knew about her past.

"How did you figure it out? Who the hell told you." she hissed visibly angry. "Mr. Calkin told me while you were out. He told me your entire story. Adeline saved you. She found you before you jumped. The scars on your wrist weren't hard to pick up either. I'm just trying to make sure that doesn't happen again. I freaking care. Too much. I guess that's my problem." I stopped breathing. My anger was taking control. I'm going to say something I regret but she can't do this. I don't want her to try to........ again. I couldn't love with myself if she died from something I could prevent..........

"Maybe you could believe in me. I can do it. You don't have to protect me!" She practically screamed. She got out of the table knocking over our waiter that was carrying the chef's special. I got up to chase after her but I was stopped by the mess.

I ran out of the restaurant and I stood there stunned. What have I done? Oh help me God.