Desolation // h.s (Book 2 of The Redemption Series)

Chapter Twenty Three W/ an important Author's note.

Songs of the chapter:
. Towers - Little Mix
. What A Catch, Donnie - Fall Out Boy
. A Little Too Much - Shawn Mendes
. I Feel So - Box Car Racer

Jade's POV

I watched out of the corner of my right eye as Harry and I drove by my old flat building. A sudden wave of nostalgia washed over me. So many things had happened within that small flat. So many tears, so many smiles, so many fights, so much sex. Tons of scars were made within it, too many nights of purging occurred there. I looked down at my hands before looking back up at the wind shield, and that was when I realized that maybe I couldn't forget my past, no matter how hard I tried.

I had done so many things since my parents had died. I often wondered if they would still be proud of me or if they would have disowned me. I have always pondered about what my life would've been if they were still alive. "I hate myself." I said softly.

"What?" Harry asked.

"Nothing." I replied quickly.

"No, you said something."

"Don't worry about it." I sighed.

Minutes later Harry turned down onto a country road. "What are you doing?" I asked. "My house is still forty five minutes away from here, hell Harry, you're going in the wrong direction."

Slowly Harry pulled onto the side of the road and shut off the vehicle. He turned to me , placed his hands on my lap and looked up at me. "I know what you said."

"Then why did you ask?"

"Because I wanted to make sure if I had heard you correctly. I believe you said that you hate yourself."

"That I did." I nodded.

"Why?"

"Because of my past."

"And you don't think that I don't have regrets about mine?" Harry chuckled. "I have millions of regrets. Most of them because of things that I had done to you."

"But you have never lived through what I have. I have an eating disorder, Harry. I harm myself purposely. I used to be promiscuous, I'm honestly surprised that I never got an STD. I hate myself for what I have done and what I am still doing."

"Babe, I believe everyone in this world has lived a fucked up life. The key is to not allow it to fu-ck you over more than it already has."

"It's too late for that." I muttered.

Harry shook his head before reaching over and pressing his lips to my forehead in a small, chaste kiss. "You know that your past is nothing to me, it doesn't change my opinion of you, it never will. I knew who you were before you became who you are now. I love you, Jade. It'll take a lot more than your history to change my mind about you."

"I love you." I replied.

Harry smiled momentarily before unbuckling his seat belt, "Take off your seat belt." He said to me in a soft tone. "What? Why?" I asked him. " You'll find out." He replied.

I unbuckled my seat belt and looked back up at him. "Now what?" I asked.

"Now." He chuckled. "Now, we're gonna get out of the car and into the backseat."

"Why?"

"Because I want to remind you that no matter what you've done, that I still love you." He said. "Let me, let me remind you."

An hour and a half later, Harry and I sat in my living room together. It felt odd to be there with him, peacefully at that. The last time that Harry had been at my home, we were fighting. "Are you feeling better now?" Harry asked.

"I am." I said before lighting up a cigarette. "How bad was Aurora when you dropped her off at her grandparent's this morning?"

"She cried a lot, she's over a year and a half old now and she still hates to be away from me." Harry said sadly. "She's so attached to me, I never thought that I would ever truly have a child at my age, but I cant lie and say that I don't enjoy being a father. I love her, even though she isn't truly mine. I knew that after Sam died, Aurora would be a hassle for her grandparents to take care of the entire time. Aurora had known me since she was born and I knew that if anyone could give her the life that Samantha would've done if she was alive, that would be me, so I gladly signed the adoption papers."

"Aurora does love you, loads." I laughed. "When I used to watch her with Emily, she would always giggle whenever she saw the picture of you that Emily had in her bedroom"

"She would?"

"She would, it was one of the most adorable things that I have ever seen in my entire life."

"I have to pick her up in about a half hour. Do you want to go back home with me tonight?"

"I do." I said as I put out my cigarette.

"Juliet!" Emily screamed as she came through the front door, seconds later. "Juliet, oh god, are you here?"

"Yeah?" I screamed back in response.

"I got a phone call from Liam a few hours ago. I tried to call you and Harry but neither of your phones were on."

"We left them outside in the car because I was going to take Jade to eat before we had to pick up Aurora." Harry said.

"What happened, why are you acting so serious?" I asked her.

"Something happened to Lance..."

"What happened?" I interrupted her.

"Lance passed away this morning."

A/N: It's been a while since I posted, I am so sorry y'all. I promise that I'll try to get back into writing at least two times a week. I have missed writing this story so much.

I want to tell you all that I have started an Instagram for my writing, and I would love you all to follow me. I will follow each and every one of you that follows me, all you have to do to tell me that you are from Wattpad is type #DES into one of the pictures posted and I will follow you back. The user name is @autumnlenore_

I love you all so much, don't ever forget that