Desolation // h.s (Book 2 of The Redemption Series)

Chapter Sixteen*

Warning: S* xual content. Also important authors note at the end.

Songs For This Chapter
. Turning Pages - Sleeping At Last
. Until The End  - Breaking Benjamin
. Break My Fall - Breaking Benjamin
. You - The Pretty Reckless
. Ships In The Night - Matt Kearney

Harry's POV

Have you ever felt like your life meant nothing? Like everytime that you tried to do something, you'd fail, or whenever you tried to express yourself, you ended up doing it the wrong way and ended up hurting the one that you loved or the ones around you? Have you ever felt like you can't contain the anger, the sadness, the disappointment from within your own body?  That was exactly how I felt. I felt confused, angry, disappointed, depressed, and lost. 

I knew what I said to Jade, ruined all of my chances of getting  back with her. I screamed at her, I didn't even think of how she felt. She had broken up with Zayn for her best friend, and even though she wasn't in love with him, she had still been with him for a year and a half so I knew that it had bothered her. I humiliated her in front of her friend, or should I say "f* ck buddy".  I stooped so low that I didn't even care about her feelings, the only thing that I did care about was my own feelings and letting all my anger out.

So in the following week, I received a call from Emily. She had told me that she came home from work, and found all of Jade's belongings gone. First she thought that maybe Jade was staying the night at a friends, but then we she noticed that her passport was gone, that's when we both realized that she left the States. Emily said she had called Liam and Jade was not there, I called Ed and he said that he was still in the states. I eventually decided to get in contact with Zayn, I thought maybe she forgave him and they left but he said that he was still in the States also.  Emily, Liam nor I knew where Jade went and we were all scared.

A week after that, I received a letter in the mail. The letter had no return address, no name, just my address listed on it. Within the envelope I found the ring that I had gave Jade on her eighteen birthday, our promise ring. Also there was a letter within the envelope written in black ink, the letter was smaller than a paragraph.

I'm sorry, I had to get away. Please tell Emily, that I'm fine and also tell Liam not to worry about me. I'll come back one day, I promise. I'll come back when I have managed to fix myself. I love you, and I hope when that time comes, you'll still love me.

For the next month Liam, Emily and I tried to contact her, but we never got a response. We tried emails, texts, calling her cell phone, in which she eventually changed her number. Nobody knew where she had went, she was no longer in the States nor in England. Jade had always known ways to disappear, she could fit in to any place that she went, like a chameleon. I was worried about her, but I was still angry. I was in agony, I was paranoid, I feared for her sanity and for my own.

Jade had withdrawn from her classes, and lost her scholarship. I knew that Jade wouldn't just drop out of school without a valid reason. Maybe things had gotten too rough for her? Maybe she was slipping away back into her depression, her suicidal thoughts? I didn't know but all that I did know was that I wanted to see her so that I could apologize to her.

Three months managed to pass after that before Emily received a letter. Jade had told her that she missed her, that she was fine, and not to worry about her. She said that she would be back around Christmas. But we never saw her on Christmas day, nor did we hear anything from her.

New Years came and passed in a blink of an eye, and Jade was still nowhere to be found. So on ninth of January I woke up to a knock at my flat door.  I remember running through my flat, in only boxers to my flat door. An UPS man stood in the hallway with a package in his hands, I signed my name and he gave me the package. Within the package was yet another letter, and an three tickets to Dublin, Ireland. The letter was from Jade and she said that she wanted to see us, that she was afraid to come back to the States and to have nowhere to go because everyone was angry at her, and that if Emily and I wanted to see her then we could go and see her.