blossoming hearts | mitsuya takashi

27. burning ache

tw suicide mentions

Juno scoffed, "Go ahead. I wanna see what bullshit you're going to tell me."

Ayumu didn't know where to begin, "Juno, it was called for the Tenjiku fight."

Juno sighed, "Do you know how powerful they are? They don't care about one who's in their way, they're capable of killing."

"I know that." Ayumu said firmly, "But I'm down for Toman."

Juno rubbed her forehead, "I thought I was good enough to be your family, I didn't think you needed a gang to feel like you were part of one."

"You are, this is my choice. I am choosing to put my life down for Toman." Ayumu said, sitting down at the kitchen island.

"What if something happens? I have a really bad feeling Ayumu." Juno said, her voice was starting to tremble.

"You'll be alright, you're doing so much better now. You don't need me!" Ayumu said, reaching out for her left hand, giving it a small squeeze.

Juno smiled weakly, "Ayumu..."

"Juno, I am just your brother. Even if anything were to happen, I won't injure myself or die! I'm stronger than you think." Ayumu teased.

"You wouldn't understand." Juno paused. "You're the younger sibling, you don't feel the constant weight of worrying about you. As the older sister, I will always worry. Even if you're the strongest man in the world."

"Stop worrying so much." Ayumu said, "It's does you bad, now that you're with Takashi, you're doing so much better! You don't need me anymore! You're an amazing person, and I'm growing up."

Juno nodded, "I guess you are."

"Well... that's not all the news I have." Ayumu said, pausing and looking her face. "I am in charge of the second division."

"Isn't that, Kashi's division?" Juno asked, her eyes went blank, they were pitch black.

Ayumu gulped, "Kashi', he got attacked on the way to the meet." He paused, "He got hit in the head with a pipe, by Rindou Haitani."

Juno stared blankly at her brother, nothing was being processed in her mind. She refused to believe that was real, she couldn't believe him. She couldn't believe how Ayumu is still willingly going to fight.

"Stay home." Juno whispered.

Ayumu shook his head, "I can't."

"PLEASE!" Juno cried out, starting to sob, she brought his hand up to her face, and looked down. Her hand was shaky, "I don't understand how you still want to go out there while Kashi' was attacked."

"You busted your head a few years ago skating." Ayumu responded, "Didn't stop you? Did it?"

"No."

"Exactly. It's the same fucking shit." Ayumu said, freeing his hand from her hold, "Stop treating me like a little kid. I'm not a baby anymore."

"Ayumu. Shut the fuck up." Juno said, her head was pounding and her chest felt heavy. "Just shut the fuck up."

Ayumu stared at her, he had never seen her in this state, not even for Takashi. "I'm sorry Juno. This is my life, I choose my path, and I chose Toman." He walked away to his room, leaving his sister breaking down in the kitchen.

Tears streamed down her face like a waterfall, her head was spinning and her vision was blurry. Her chest starting hurt at how harshly she was breathing, letting cries slip out her mouth. She doesn't want to lose both of them, she can't stand losing anymore people anymore. She was tired of everything around finally getting their shit together and then being broken down. Her mother had been gone for days, she didn't care about it until now.

Her mother is gone.

Takashi is unconscious in a hospital bed.

Ayumu is going to fight the most dangerous gang known as of now.

"He's mine. Why can't you guys just stay away from him? It's not his time." Juno cried out in her hands, "I don't want to lose Ayumu."

All she wants was the safety of the most important people in her life. Her brother was the only reason she kept going at a certain point, she couldn't believe how selfish she was when she thought about ending her life. It makes no sense, isn't Ayumu feeling selfish for wanting to risk his life for a fight? Was she the only one who felt guilty? Did Ayumu see the same expression right now? The one he gave her when she was finally able to tell him about her attempt.

Her thoughts were eating her alive.

Would the sun shine the same if her brother were to die?

All she's done was take care of him, is this was she deserved?

Will her days be the same without him?

Would she be able to walk down the street if he wasn't there?

She shook her head, why is she thinking about his death? Is this the burning ache? Is this it? Is Ayumu going to die? She wouldn't let thought for through her head anymore. That's impossible, Ayumu won't die.

He's not the little kid he was before.

He's strong.

He's Ayumu Mochizuki, he was born into this world for a reason, and if it's to fight alongside Toman.

Then let it be.

"Ayumu!" Juno called out, Ayumu got up from the floor, he had been sitting in the hallway, listening to his sister.

His eyes were puffy, "Yes?"

"You can go." Juno said, looking down. "I wish the best for you in that fight, I'll be praying for you, and cheering on you from here."

They got down from the kitchen island and hugged tightly, he started immediately sobbing with his sister in arms. Everything he did was for her, he joined Toman to protect his sister, not knowing it would cause her more stress.

"I love you sister." Ayumu whispered weakly.

Juno smiled, "I love you more Ayu."

-

Ayumu stood in front of Juno, his uniform freshly ironed and cleaned. A prideful expression, he was happy to go fight with Toman. It made Juno feel like she taught him right, but it broke her heart a little.

"Tell me you'll be alright." Juno stated.

"I'll be alright."

"I'll see you after this right?" Juno quivered.

Ayumu chuckled, "Of course! I ain't going no where."

"Ayumu. Please." Juno said, "Please take care of yourself."

"I will. Stop worrying Juno." Ayumu said.

Juno shook her head, "Who am I not to worry?"

Ayumu chuckled, "I have to go now."

Juno clung to him, wrapping her arms around his body. Holding her brother as if it were the last time. She didn't want to let go, but she had to, one day it would come to this moment.

"Okay." Juno said, pulling away.

Ayumu walked to the door, and Juno held it for him.

"Come back home!" Juno said as he walked out.

"I will." Ayumu smiled, his eyes always disappeared when smiling, he opened them again and saw his sister standing there.

Her hair was freshly washed, she had jeans and one of his t-shirts on. Her arms were crossed, she waved by, and so did he. He finally turned around, a tear ran down his left cheek.

"Crybaby." He said to himself, wiping it off.

Juno walked back in, closed the door, she left it unlocked, just in case Ayumu backed out and went back home, even if she knew it wouldn't happen. She went and laid down on his bed, crying softly. Holding an old teddy bear she gifted him, who had the scent of her brother, she hugged it tightly.

"Please. Be okay." Juno pleaded.