we keep this love in a photograph

Chapter 48

Mid-December came around fast, and Jennie spent every moment at the office, pulling sixteen-hour days and, once or twice, falling asleep on the sofa mid-document and waking to the grey dawn breaking over the city. The weather grew frigid, a disgruntling prospect for Jennie, considering that she'd left Seattle and its sleet and snow behind, only to find herself in a windy city that, while mercifully didn't snow, was still rather wet and cold. It had been just over a year since she'd initially made the move, and the searing heat of summer had all but eclipsed her memories of the early cold months of the year, and she found that she'd acclimated.

She saw less of Alice and Ashley, only catching their calls half of the time, and on the nights that she came home to them sitting in her living room, they'd already made dinner and eaten, leaving a bowl of leftovers for her before they left shortly afterwards, having work the next morning. It was taking its toll on Jennie, wearing her down, and she was plagued with persistent headaches and a fleeting bout of coughing that made her chest ache as she ran her immune system down. The only person she regularly made time for was Rosie, dropping everything for their ten- minute video calls where everything was pixelated and lagging, clinging to them for some sense of reprieve from her job. But at the same time, she threw herself into her work as a way to pass the time without Rosie too, and took her work lunches with Jisoo as a way to insist she was taking time to branch out and make friends.

Never one for the holidays, Jennie was almost oblivious to the decorations that went up, the frantic stress of people gift shopping and picking out trees and the other stuff that didn't affect her, and she had to listen to Alice pester her for two weeks about her lack of decorations at home before she impatiently handed her a credit card and told her to buy it herself. That in itself was a mistake, and Jennie spent one of her rare evenings at home hanging baubles off the branches of a modest- sized douglas fir that had taken up residence in the corner of her living room.

Perhaps she would have enjoyed it more if Rosie was there with her ever-present cheeriness, knowing she would have loved decorating the tree, the new Christmas drinks at Starbucks and the ice skating rink they set up, the gingerbread cookies that Jennie sent Karina off to buy for the office. Jennie was somewhat brooding about her first good Christmas being overshadowed by the absence of the one thing that would have made it perfect. Still, she was happy to be going to Portland for a couple of days, knowing she'd enjoy herself anyway and eager to give everyone the gifts she'd picked out for them.

That was one of the few things she'd taken the time out of her busy day's to do, poring over her laptop as she browsed sites and brainstormed. She'd chosen gifts for Rosie too and had already sent a care package on ahead to make sure it would get to her in time, packing in sealed packets of gingerbread cookies, sachets of peppermint hot chocolate and a Christmas card and a multitude of little knick-knacks for her to open on the day. She imagined it wouldn't feel much like Christmas over there, but was intent on trying her best to make it feel like it as much as she could.

Still, her moods were contrary and she found herself troubled more often than not. Even the removal of her cast, just a phantom twinge now and again reminding her of her broken wrist, wasn't enough to dispel the brewing sense of unease within Jennie. She watched the news religiously, keeping it on in her office as background noise, scouring news sites and various papers every day as she read up on the conflict and politics and saw the worsening state of things. It only served to make her quietly panic, but she couldn't help herself.

Things only got worse when she didn't hear from Rosie for two days. It wasn't unusual for a day here or there to go without a video or phone call, but two days were rare, and her worry was only exacerbated by what she saw on the news. Late one night, pacing back and forth in her office, Jennie called Alice, voice haggard and fraught with worry as she anxiously bit her nails.