we keep this love in a photograph

Chapter 73

They were into their third week at Clare's, and a whole month since they'd been notified of Rosie's reappearance, and yet, every day, Jennie still felt like it wasn't real. In the middle of the night, she'd wake up from a bad dream of Rosie being gone again, only to find her fast asleep, curled up at her side, her head on Jennie's chest and fingers clinging to her shirt. Only then would she be able to sleep, for however briefly until the nightmares that plagued Rosie inevitably woke her from the screaming and thrashing. Some mornings, if Clare was home, she'd come in and sent Jennie into Alice's room to sleep and stay with Rosie, holding her through the long hours until dawn crept in. Jennie was grateful for those stolen hours of sleep, running on very little for the most part - it was was starting to catch up with her.

Still, Rosie had decided she wanted to return to San Francisco now, despite Jennie suggesting they stay a little bit longer, where Rosie seemed more at ease. She was worried that the loud city noises and busy crowds might be too much for Rosie to bear, thinking the empty beaches and sea air would be preferable, but Rosie had insisted. So, of course, Jennie relented and paid to arrange everything, packing their bags in the morning and enjoying one last breakfast with Clare, until she was called away to the hospital. They weren't leaving until the afternoon, which left an empty morning for them, sitting on the back porch as Rosie tossed a tennis ball for Athena. Jennie thought back to when she'd first adopted her to help combat her loneliness - now, it looked like she wasn't the only one benefiting from that decision.

Once she'd tired of the game, Rosie rolled the sandy neon green ball between her palms, a clouded look of wariness on her face as her mouth turned down at the corners before she looked at Jennie. "Hey, I- I need you to take me somewhere before we go."

"Oh, sure, okay. Anywhere."

Rosie let out a short laugh, her mouth hitching into an uneven smile as her eyes creased at the corners, "I promise you, you won't want to take me. I ... I want to see it. My grave."

"Your- Rosie. That is not a good idea," Jennie protested.

"I told you," Rosie said with amusement before she turned solemn. "I think it'll be ... good. For both of us. I might give us some closure, help but this whole ... thing behind us. I don't know, I just- I need to do this."

"You need to?"

"Yes, I need to."

With a withering sigh and an eyeroll, Jennie climbed to her feet and stooped down to give Rosie a kiss. "I'll get your shoe."

Rosie insisted on them walking there, rather quick with her crutches these days, while Athena padded along on a leash. The weather was warming up considerably, less damp days of late, with summer not too far away, and they both soaked upthe sunshine as they made their way towards the cemetery. Rosie had her old camera in hand, returned with the rest of her belongings, and she snapped a few photos along the way, a part of Jennie relieved that she could still find the beauty in things around her, despite the horrors of war she'd witnessed firsthand. She was still Jennie's Rosie.

They made a detour on the way to buy flowers for Mason's grave, but it still didn't take long for them to reach the acres of land studded with headstones and the little church nestled amidst the trees. They were silent as they made their way through the eerily quiet morning, Rosie following the familiar path to the grave of the adoptive father she'd barely known. Jennie followed with more reservations, dread pooling in her stomach as memories of that day, of the harrowing experience of burying an empty box in Rosie's stead, flooded back. It almost seemed like a distant dream - a nightmare - and Jennie hadn't been back since. Perhaps Rosie was right and it would bring her some closure too, even if it was only the beginning of Rosie's healing.