we keep this love in a photograph

Chapter 50

To Jennie,

Merry Christmas! It seems unfair that I'm not there to celebrate with you in full Park style - I bet you've never had a Christmas like ours - but I'll try not to complain too much about it, even though it is my favourite holiday out of them all. There's something about the holidays that makes me want to come home more than usual, the thought of everyone being together, of all the food and the gifts and the snow. I hope you'll enjoy it all for me and build the biggest snowman you can. Did you ever make one as a child? I know you've never celebrated anything normally but that seems like such a prominent childhood memory for most people. Send me a photo if you make one.

I hope you like your gifts. I had to get Alice to buy them because there's only so much I can do from the middle of nowhere, but she promised she'd get everything I asked for so I hope you like them. Especially the sweater - that one took me the longest, but it's a nice distraction to knit while trying to get a signal for the baseball or a call from you. Apologise to your mom for me as well - I bet she's horrified by hers but I didn't want her to feel left out. I hope that's okay.

Speaking of your mom, I'm not sure how - I'm guessing Clare - but she called me the other night. It was out of the blue and I almost didn't pick up because I didn't recognise the number, but I answered and it took me a second to place her voice but when I realised I think I was just in shock that she'd called. I thought maybe something had happened to you again. Maybe she's already told you this, or maybe it was a secret for her to save face, but she apologised to me. It felt kind of weird for her to do that, because I still proposed anyway and didn't really factor in her opinion on it even when she told me it wasn't such a great idea, but I appreciated it. I know you two have a lot going on, but she sounded genuine and said that you're a lot happier now, even with me not being there. It was a little awkward and she asked me to stay safe - purely for your benefit, I know, but I like that she takes your feelings into consideration now.

When I'm home we'll have to spend some time with her so I can get to know her better and she can get to know me more. I think it's strange that she's been absorbed into our little family and I'm not there to see it. I kind of feel outside it all but I'm glad she'll be there for Christmas with you too. I hope it's a good day, the best Christmas you can ever remember having, and I hope that you rest. I might be over here but I know you and the holidays are a time to relax and have fun and enjoy yourself. Promise me you'll make the most of it all. I'll be impatiently waiting to speak to you, to come home to you and to next Christmas when we celebrate it together.

Love you always,
Rosie xxx