we keep this love in a photograph

Chapter 61

The press got ahold of the story the following day, and one Oh Sehun was the only one with the inside scoop on the fact that Rosie had been engaged to Jennie, dropping that bombshell in an article detailing their tragic love story instead of focusing on the other ten people that had died too. She didn't read it, of course, didn't turn on the TV and see the running stories or the search results on her laptop; Jennie stayed in bed, oblivious to everything else. Even if she'd been aware of it, she doubted she would've even had a shred of energy within her to care.

As it was, Jennie couldn't even lift her head off the pillow, slipping in and out of sleep and bouts of wakefulness where she stared at the wall and waited for sleep to come again. Periodically, someone would open the door - her mother, she assumed; the only one who wasn't a wreck right now - and check on her before leaving her alone again. Jennie stayed curled into a ball, her body heavy and her mind muddled as she nursed the gaping wound inside her

It was the sound of a raised voice that stirred her, more so out of aloof curiosity than anything else, and Jennie dragged herself from her bed and wearily plodded downstairs as the conversation grew louder. The raised voice was unmistakably Alice's but it wasn't until Jennie reached the bottom of the stairs that Jennie could pinpoint who her anger was directed at and why.

"It hasn't even been two days. How are you even talking about this right now?" Alice snapped, standing with her shoulders taut and her hands balled into fists.

Clare looked up at her with resigned exhaustion, "she doesn't ... have a- a body. We have to assume ..."

"It's too soon."

"We need to ... make arrangements. We need closure."

"Putting an empty box in the ground isn't going to fix anything."

The breath rushed from Jennie's lungs at the devastating realisation that they were discussing her funeral. It didn't even seem possible that they could be having a conversation like that. Not about Rosie. Feeling faint as she paled, Jennie hugged her arms to herself and swallowed, her chapped lips trembling slightly as she watched, hollow-eyed.

Alice noticed her presence and gave her a pleading look, "Jennie, tell her."

"You're the executor," Clare hoarsely told her, clutching an envelope tightly in her hands, "she wanted you to do this. I- please, Alice, we have to do this. Do this for her."

She held it out to her daughter and Alice scoffed, batting it aside. Clare's hand lowered back to her lap as she looked down at it and Jennie swallowed thickly, rubbing at her stinging eyes as she willed everyone to just leave. They'd all stayed at her house, craving the comfort of being together, but she just wanted to curl up in a ball in bed and let the rest of her life quietly pass her by.

"She didn't deserve this," Alice cried, gesturing widely as she let out a huff of defeat. "She should be coming home next week. Not- not being remembered because we don't even have a fucking ... body. I won't be a part of this. I can't."

Ashley reached out for her to soothe her, to calm her down, but Alice shrugged off her touch and stalked towards Jennie, towards the door. Looking at her and seeing the same hollowness of grief inside her, Jennie stepped aside and let her slip past, her footsteps loud and angry on the stairs until a door shut up on the second floor.

Taeyeon hovered in the kitchen, looking uncomfortable as she held a small espresso cup and stayed out of it. Ashley ran a hand over her face but didn't chase after Alice, giving her space as she took a seat at the table. Staring at Clare, Jennie took in the silent grief, the weight of it curving her shoulders, and felt the all-too familiar urge to cry building in her chest as she watched her hold the envelope with a lost look on her face. It was then that Jennie realised that she couldn't open the envelope and read her daughter's will, the plans she'd etched out with Jennie's lawyers before going back the first time. She couldn't make these plans alone and it was with stomach-lurching sickness that Jennie stepped forward.