we keep this love in a photograph

Chapter 66

Waking early the next morning, Jennie blinked away the latest dream of Rosie as she slowly came to, heavy-lidded eyes opening to narrow slits as she watched her mother fold the blankets neatly at the bottom of the mattress. She was dressed in her silk pyjamas with a robe over the top, bare-faced and grave as she quietly moved about the room. It was odd to see her doing such menial household tasks like making a bed and Jennie watched her move around as she studied her.

Pretending to sleep until Taeyeon walked out, Jennie lay on her back and stared at the ceiling after she'd left, her whole body limp as she sank into the mattress. She didn't even have the energy to sit up, to move, a certain blankness to her mind as she tried to stifle the pain, the memories, the accusing thoughts. There was so much anger in her that she felt like she was drowning in it, cold and consuming and bitter. It was a familiar companion and with the absence of Rosie's light and warmth, she descended back into that pit with open arms.

Taeyeon returned a while later, Athena nosing into the room after her and jumping up onto the bed, snuffling at Jennie's cheek before she obediently lay beside her, while her mother fetched clean clothes and informed her she was going to go to the store with Clare in a bit. She didn't invite Jennie to go with her, knowing it was a futile question, a laughable prospect, and went to shower a moment later, leaving her alone again.

Studiously ignoring Taeyeon's presence as she got ready, Jennie nodded distractedly at her mother's goodbye as she lay propped up on the pillows, staring up at the faint cracks in the corner of the bedroom ceiling. It was a mild day, the sky somewhat blue and no sign of rain yet, although the nearby roar of the ocean would likely have drowned it out anyway, and Jennie was content to stay in bed, warm beneath the blankets as she scratched Athena behind her ears and dwelled.

Ashley knocked on the door a minute later, poking her head inside to see if she wanted breakfast, and when Jennie blankly shook her head she vanished again, leaving her alone. It didn't take long for Alice to barge in, her brusquness shocking Jennie as she blinked and sat up a little straighter, hand curled in the bristly fur of the dog.

"Come on," Alice said, dragging the blankets back and gesturing. "Get up."

"No."

"You are not sitting here all day, again," Alice snapped, pale and angry and trembling with the effort it took not to fall apart as she grabbed Jennie's arm and pulled. "Get up, Jennie. Get the fuck out of bed."

"No."

Making a sound of annoyance at the back of her throat, Alice grit her teeth as she let Jennie's arm fall limply back to her side, curling her hands into fists as she shot her a venomous glare. "She asked me to look after you, okay?" Alice said, her voice cracking painfully, "and she wouldn't-"

Faltering, Alice looked aside, a muscle twitching in her jaw, before she inhaled sharply. "She wouldn't want you to do this to yourself."

"I don't care."

"Jennie," Alice snapped, "fucking look at me."

Eyes drifting up to look at her, Jennie blinked slowly, an emptiness to her gaze as she looked at Alice and felt only exhaustion and sadness. That bitter anger welled up inside her and her lips twisted ruefully as she swallowed.

"I look at you and all I see is her," Jennie rasped, looking out the window as she turned over onto her side. "I don't want to look at you."

"Well ... you're not staying here. Get up."

"Leave me alone."

"Get up."